When you’re in your mid-80’s and both your parents died before their 90th birthdays, it’s natural to think about your own death.
It’s the winter season of my life. Family and friends are leaving this earth before me. Many are a decade or more younger than I.
Yesterday I received a message from a friend. Her husband has been battling lung cancer I’ve been praying for him and his wife daily. He developed pneumonia recently.
Along with his other health issues, lung cancer and interstitial lung disease, she wrote, “That wasn’t a good mix!” Sadly, he passed away.
But soon the “sadly” changed to “gratitude.” She continued, telling me, “… alert, no pain, and telling stories right up to the end.” What a wonderful blessing that was!
No, this isn’t him, but I can imagine the scene. “All of us were with him,” she wrote. “He said he was ready to meet Jesus. His faith was unbelievably strong.
He let everybody know he was joyfully checking out.” My friend played Merle Haggard’s song on her cell phone: Sing Me Back Home, and put the phone by his ear. He smiled, closed his eyes, “So long ’til we meet on the other side.”
How d’ya wanna die? I’ve decided my friend’s scenario is the one I want when I leave this earth. How about you?
What do you do while the clothes are fluffing in the dryer and you are waiting before taking them out to fold them?
Do you have paper and pens, color crayons and chalk sitting on your table where you’re waiting to fold clothes?
I do.
I love to write Acrostics while waiting in the laundry room for the clothes to fluff so I can fold them wrinkle free.
Here are a few of mine. You can guess the topic knowing these were created within the last four months.
ANTICIPATING OWEN 2/14/24
O ur W onderful E specially N ew
P resent U plifting us: P up!!
Screenshot
POOPY OWEN 3/18/24
P lease O bey, O wen! P oop Y our shit O utside W hen E ver N ecessary!
Please, Lord, help us figure out how to train this puppy to go outside – and to come when called!
OWEN LEO:HE’S LEARNING! 4/20/24
O odles of fun W hen he behaves E ven when he forgets, he N ever ceases to bring joy!
L et us be patient and E ncourage his good behavior. O wen is such a love!
FUTURE PLANS 6/7/24
F irst U p: T rouble erupted U nder our noses R eally sad E vent happened P up Owen died L anding outside the window A ttached to his leash N oose around his neck S uffocated, hung himself.
Where do we go from here? How do we keep living in this empty, vacuous house without Owen? He filled all the empty spaces in our home and hearts. We are devastated. Can’t think future plans right now.
DON’T GET STUCK 6/14/24
D isasters O ccur N ightmares T raumatize G oodness E nters T hrough S ensitive T rusting U nderstanding C aring K indred Spirits
We have been so blessed this week to have the love and hugs, flowers and cards, calls and caring of so many of our family & friends. They have encouraged us to grieve, of course, but “Don’t get stuck.” In Owen’s sweet memory Move On… Laugh again, Love again, Rejoice again, Snuggle again with Another Boston Terrier.
We’re not quite ready yet… But God is helping us heal. Thank you, God’s angels. We love you!
As most of you know, I spent my career in education. I taught all grades K-8 (except 3rd… don’t know why I skipped that one). Children are my passion…. their education, their safety, their equal opportunities. It breaks my heart when I see evidence of neglect or abuse or (heaven forbid) sex trafficking. Children are our most vulnerable humans and they need our protection, for they cannot protect themselves.
My passion for animals is especially poignant right now – – especially after our horrific accident last week when we lost our sweet puppy, Owen. I still can’t stop crying. My heart aches.
He was such a little rascal, but he wrapped himself around our hearts and we miss his company more than words can say. I am passionate about having a pet. Our house feels empty and vacuous without one. Owen filled all the empty corners of our hearts and our home. He brought such joy. How can we go on without a Boston Terrier chewing on our rugs, tugging on our heartstrings, filling our days?
Rest in peace, sweet puppy. You were an object of my affection, the recipient of my passion. Bob & I miss you so much!
My mom always quoted this saying: “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
I don’t know its origin, but I certainly believe it.
At a memorial service last weekend, 175 friends and family gathered From all over the USA to honor My friend, Phyllis Wasick.
Phyllis died over two years ago In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. Folks couldn’t celebrate her long life (88) At that time; travel & gatherings shut down.
So now, as travel and gatherings resume, We were able to gather together To praise and celebrate our “Best Friend.” I say that collectively intentionally!
Here is Phyllis with her daughter, Lisa This was about a year before Phyllis Went to be with her other best friends Who had gone on to eternity before her.
At the memorial celebration of life A few of her best friends were asked to speak. It was not a “open mike” – that would have been crazy! Everyone would have wanted to talk!
When asked, “Who was Phyllis’ best friend – really?” The answer was, “The one she was with!!” She made each one of us feel special. She made each of us feel important.
She lived a life of love and inclusiveness. She was a true friend to all and a servant, too. She worked at the Food Bank, the church, The library, and was a treasured Book Club member.
At the service, her great grandchildren Gathered up front, led by one of her grandsons, And they sang, “You are my Sunshine!” Yes – the world was brighter with Phyllis in it!
So, who is YOUR best friend? How would folks answer that about you? Do you make each person you are with Feel special, appreciated, and important?
It is a wonderful quality to posses. I used to tell Phyllis, “I want to be you When I grow up!” I am still growing – And improving – with the memory of
Phyllis Wasick tucked deep in my heart! Who inspires you to be everyone’s Best Friend? It certainly was a lesson Jesus taught every day of His ministry!
Click on that link to hear a piano rendition of that song with the lyrics for you… Sing along!!
Psalm 133:1
“1 How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”
A friend encourages unity and interdependence. No divisiveness lives in a true friend.
Jesus was a friend to all ages!
A best friend cares about you A best friend is a good listener A best friend is someone you can confide in A best friend knows how to keep sharing confidential A best friend is supportive and trustworthy A best friend loves you just the way you are A best friend keeps in touch
Be a best friend to whoever you are with! Maybe I can emulate my friend Phyllis- With the help of God’s grace living in my heart And the Holy Spirit within to guide me.
You can, too!
Jesus is my best friend! And He helps me be more like Him every day… Phyllis does, too!
Thanks for visiting my blog today. See ya tomorrow (God willing). Love, JanBeek
A beautiful, bright yellow, little bird found its demise this morning. Flying too fast, confused by reflections in our large kitchen window, it crashed into it. Sometimes birds who do that are just stunned, After lying on the ground a while, they get up and fly away. This one was not so fortunate.
There is a bird that looks just like this one that is flying from tree to tree outside the kitchen window. Obviously, it is looking for its buddy. My heart goes out to the poor, lonesome one.
I am reminded as I see this little beauty of the lesson to be learned here: SLOW DOWN and LOOK WHERE YOU’RE GOING!
If you’ve followed my blog this past month, you know I didn’t do that! I was walking too fast – and I was not watching where I was going. I caught my right shoe on the top of the (higher than normal) curb, and down I went! Fortunately, I caught the weight of my fall on my left pinky finger. Not my head or hip. Not my right hand. Not my face. It could have been so much worse. I have lots to be thankful for. But the message is clear. SLOW DOWN!
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
But, if you run, make it be in a safe place to do so… and keep your eyes on the road ahead. And when you walk, be purposeful. Look ahead. Be alert. When you wait, wait patiently. Pray for guidance. Listen. Be discerning. Be obedient.
I’ve got time for slow dances in the kitchen now. The Lord said, “Rest. Ice that hand! Exercise those fingers. Go to your occupational therapy sessions, and skip all those other obligations for now. Wait!”
OK, Lord. I am listening.
Are you listening, my friend?
Slow down! And have a safe, sane, and happy Tuesday.
That picture is a reminder of another time a year or so ago when I was walking too fast and not looking where I was going.
Oh my… not a very fast learner, am I?? S’pose I got the message this time?
Have you??
See ya later – Love, JanBeek
Looking forward to a healed, useful hand again!
Here’s a wonderful song (I had not heard it before) about that message of slowing down… so true!
My friend in our local senior living center is in his 101st year on earth. Next week he’ll celebrate another birthday. We want to have a special party … a wheelchair parade … with balloons and horns and a lot of hoopla. But he’ll have none of that. No siree! Just celebrate it with all the other April birthdays … don’t make no big deal about it.
But it IS a big deal! Don’t you agree?
Do you know how many sunrises and sunsets that is? More than I care to count! However, God bless him, my friend can count them all. His mind is still sharp as a rack. How does he do that?
I need to go ask my friend, Anita. She’s about ready to celebrate her 100th, and she’s sharp as a tack, too! Stay tuned. I’ll get the secrets from both of them … and I’ll share it here. I wanna get to be 100 and still have all my marbles in place, too.
I already know one of Anita’s secrets. Keep busy doin’ for others! She was a member of our Montana’s Senior Companion Program well into her 90s! Always out there “helping the old folks” by taking them to their doctor appointments, helping them get their groceries, shoveling their walks, you name it! What an inspiration!
Another senior friend of mine, Carol Orr, was in her 90s when this picture of her and me was taken. Like Anita, she kept her marbles polished and in place.
I asked Carol a few years after this photo to share with me some of her life lessons – and I posted a blog about that about a decade ago. I’ll find it and give you a link tomorrow.
Meantime, I want you to ponder that 101 birthday coming up. S’pose he should have a parade just for him? Maybe not, if he doesn’t want it. But, shouldn’t we do SOMEthing special?
Paul Soren made a suggestion below. I like his idea. Don’t you?
Have a Happy Day, my friends. It’s a beautiful, blue sky springtime day here in Ennis, MT. Time to go plant some iris in honor of our new great-granddaughter, Mable Iris McSparron.
What is happening to our Ukrainian brothers and sisters is unbelievable! My heart hurts for them. What can we do to stop Putin’s madness? It is unprovoked murder. God, stop this madness!!!
It is impossible to imagine why these atrocities are occurring. Pray for peace. Pray for God’s miracle to save this country and its people and stop the bloodshed.
What else besides prayer can we do? Donate to a trusted organization such as UNICEF or Presbyterian Relief Fund or Doctors Without Borders where we know the money will go to the intended targets – the people of Ukraine and the helpers sent there to provide aid.
These kinds of unprovoked attacks and deadly occupation have got to be deemed unlawful – a war crime – punishable in the world courts. Enough already!! Stop the madness!!!
What do you think we ordinary concerned citizens should do? What would help the Ukrainians the most?
Jesus began to weep. So The Jews said, “See how He loved him.”
John 11:35-36
This week we attended the funeral of a friend who died while we were off in Europe enjoying life. My friend, Jeannie, was grieving while I was obliviously enjoying life. We attended his memorial service when we returned. Many tears were shed. He was dearly loved and will be sorely missed. Over the past decade or so, Bob & I enjoyed many hours of four-wheeling on our mountain trails with him.
As many of you know, if you have followed my blog a couple weeks or more, we visited Jackie & Derrick Knight while on our three week excursion. If you follow Derrick’s blog, too, you know he had just lost his dear mom… and he took a break from planning for her funeral in order to host us. We understood the sacrifice of time and emotion that this delay involved… and we appreciated it so much! It was good to hear later that he was able to facilitate a very meaningful funeral for his mum.
A good funeral Shared grief in community Be sad together
Lie down in green pastures
Read 23rd Psalm Sing Amazing Grace with friends Embrace your grieving
Engaging in the grieving process with a friend caused me to do a lot of introspective thinking. What if this was my husband? How would I be handling this? How could I cope? Do I realize how blessed I am to have had these 60 years together? Do I cherish each minute we have together or do I take these blessings for granted?
1960 – at Bob’s sister’s wedding
1962 at our wedding
Us at our 59th anniversary last Feb.
Embracing grief also means embracing news that grieves us- learning to accept that news – and learning to give it to God. Last week we learned that Bob’s compromised heart & kidney functions are probably caused by “Amyloidosis.”
Oh my! Have you ever heard of that? It’s a condition that causes extra deposits of protein in your weakest organ(s). As I understand it, in some cases the weakest organ is the brain, so the extra protein gathers there and can cause dementia. In Bob’s case, the weak organs were heart & kidney.
The extra protein stiffens the heart muscles and causes them not to pump as efficiently. There are several kinds of amyloidosis. One is genetic. To the relief of our children and grandchildren, that one’s been ruled out!
Next week Bob will have a full body PET scan Wednesday and he will have a bone marrow exam on Thursday. The attempt is to rule out bone marrow Amyloidosis (we were told that version of it can be cancerous). So, the challenge is clear: Don’t grieve unnecessarily by worrying needlessly! Worrying about things over which you have zero control is a waste!
Only embrace grief when such sadness is called for! We weep when we see the depth of sadness in those around us. We all need space to be in our sadness. But don’t invite it! Don’t anticipate it! Take time for “good grief” when it is right to do so, just as Jesus seeped beside us when my friend’s husband died. But know Jesus is beside you, sharing your grief, but also fueling your hope.
Believe His power to create change.
Maintain your hope, dear friends. When disturbing news is shared with you, don’t imagine the worst.
Instead, give it to God, knowing He is with you, working for your good.
Trust in His Light which shines in the darkness.
Turn to our Savior in prayer!
Lord, grant us the courage to open ourselves fully to your word’s power and lean on your mercy. Amen
Lord, thank You for sharing our suffering. Help us channel our pain toward you. Help us embrace grief when appropriate, but focus on HOPE and Your MERCY always. Amen
Do you have a prayer request that you are willing to share with me? I’d be happy to pray for you. Please add Bob and his situation to your prayer list. Thank you!
Embrace each sunset Trust the sun will rise again Pray for clearer skies
Taken on the way home from Bozeman last night with smoke-filled skies
Psalm 65:8 “They who dwell in the ends of the earth stand in awe of Your signs; You make the dawn and the sunset shout for joy.”
Embrace each sunset Know the sunrise is coming Count on God’s promise
One season follows After another each year Changing day by day
Enjoy the beautiful voice of Aled Jones in this lovely song that reinforces the Sunrise follows every sunset focus… Close your eyes and imagine your most beautiful sunset.
Tomorrow’s sunrise Brings with it great promises Embrace each sunset
See ya tomorrow (God Willing) Make the most of it! What will you do?
Tonight I am praying for my friend, {{{Derrick}}} Do you follow his blog? Check it out. The photography is as captivating as the text. I can hardly wait for the sunrise when we get to see him & Jackie in person! Stay tuned… I’ll share it with you.
His mum peacefully retired over her last sunset on earth. My heart goes to to Derrick & Jackie and their family. Rest in peace, Mum. God bless you. Leave the light on!
