Loving One Another

Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

It's OK to…


  1. It’s OK to… Not to Have All the Answers

When Bob & I first moved from California to Montana back in 2006, I was a recently retired educator with over 30 years of teaching/administrating under my belt. I was not really ready to “hang it up.” You know, “Once a teacher, always a teacher.”

So, when I joined the Friends of the Library and received a message from a young man who was seeking help to earn his GED (I think that stands for: General Education Diploma, but it might be Graduation Equivalence Diploma) … anyway, I was all in.

Zahid was a 19 year old from Pakistan whose English was sketchy enough that he had trouble understanding the questions, let alone knowing the answers. I agreed to help him with the English/Language Arts/History areas while a good friend worked with him in the areas of Science and Math.

His host mom would drop him off at our house at 7:30 AM three times a week, and after an hour of study, I’d drive him to his place of work, just five minutes away. During our hours together, one of my greatest challenges was teaching Zahid that it’s OK to say, “I don’t know.” He tried to bluff his way through answers. It was often quite amusing!

Once Zahid learned to say, “I don’t know,” and admit to needing help with the answers, we made great progress. He eventually passed and got his high school equivalent diploma. Hooray!

2. It’s OK to… Feel all the Emotions

Zahid tried to hide his lack of knowledge and his feelings of discouragement. He tried to hide his frustrations. He attempted to bluff his way through the quizzes. It didn’t work. When he learned to let his emotions show, when he opened himself to being “real” with me, we made great progress.

3. It’s OK to… have Bad Days

Life is not always fair. Even with hard work and the best of intentions, our dreams don’t always pan out. The first time Zahid took his test for the credential, he failed. Without encouragement and a shoulder to cry on, he might have folded. He might have said, “Give it up! I can’t do this!” But, we didn’t let that happen. His host mom and dad joined our Positivity Club – and together we helped “Z” keep at it, learn from his mistakes, try again, and ultimately pass.

4. Its OK to …Let Yourself Cry

Once “Z” passed his GED, the next goal was to pass his driver’s behind-the-wheel and written tests and get a driver’s license. He worked hard at it.

My husband, Bob, is a retire teacher. (If you’ve followed my blog for awhile, you know he also is a retire beekeeper. But before he went back to the family bee farm, he taught driver’s education and coached wrestling for nine years in California.) So, Bob was a natural to help “Z” get his driver’s license.

Once that goal was accomplished, the next step was to buy a car. Zahid had saved the money he earned working at the local grocery store. He had enough to pay for a good “starter car.” But the problem that emerged was that he had no idea how to take care of a car. That’s where the “It’s OK to let yourself cry” comes in. He burned up the car’s engine by not checking the oil, the water, etc. The tears were real! It was a sad lesson in the reality of truth #5…

5. It’s OK to …Ask for Help

Bob would have been more than happy to help “Z” learn the basics of car maintenance, but Zahid never asked. It was a tough, expensive lesson. But “Z” learned it. He asked Bob to help him find a new engine. He did… and “Z” learned to ask for help in car maintenance in the future. That car gave him several years of reliable service and actually made it from Montana to Alaska when “Z” moved there for better job opportunities.

6. It’s OK to …Make Mistakes

Looking back over our experiences with that young Pakistani, we know we made mistakes, just as he did. We backed off when we should have moved forward and been more assertive with him. He tried bluffing and exercising independence when admitting his lack of knowledge and asking for help would have served him better. But, he learned – and so did we.

As long as we learn from our mistakes, it’s OK. In fact, making mistakes is sometimes the ONLY way we learn. Knowing what doesn’t work helps us eliminate some options and seek better solutions.

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com
  • Don’t try to have all the answers.
  • Don’t be ashamed of your emotions. Be real. Let them show!
  • Don’t let the bad days get you down. We need valleys in order to appreciate the mountain tops!
  • Don’t hold back the tears. Let them flow when they need to. Let them cleanse you!
  • Admit your ignorance. None of us is an expert at everything. Ask for help when you need it.
  • Don’t let mistakes get you down. No one is perfect. We need to make mistakes in order to learn and move forward.

It’s OK to … select friends who lift you up, encourage you, and give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it.

It’s OK to … BE one of those friends. Happy, warm, genuine. Even long-distance, over the miles, through cyberspace, you can reach out and be the positive friend others are seeking.

Just do it! It’s OK…

Thank you for your visit,
your comments and
your friendship,

I appreciate you!

See you tomorrow.

Memories of Childhood


I remember glimpses of my childhood – an Ozzie & Harriet family with Dad going off to work and Mom staying home…

I remember our small, sparkly white house on the end of Fig Lane in Newman, at the center of California’s hot San Joaquin Valley…

I remember sitting around the radio in the living room listening as a family to “The Cisco Kid” and “One Man’s Family” and “Inner Sanctum” …

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

I remember Dad’s three-tiered tulip bed and the day I picked a bouquet of them and got into trouble…

I remember being scolded, and as I stood there with a fist-full of the precious blooms saying to Dad, “I no pick the flaws… maybe Sally pick the flaws!”

Photo by fotografierende on Pexels.com

I remember walking down Fig Lane with my sister, Sally, headed to P Street School wearing my Mary Jane’s…

I remember how proud I was of those new shoes…

I remember trips every September to San Francisco to get new school clothes: new shoes, a new dress, underwear, a sweater, a coat… the essentials…

I remember eating crab legs at Fisherman’s Wharf while I gazed at the boats coming in and going out of the harbor…

I remember my first plane trip, flying to Seattle to be with my mom’s family there when her mom died…

I remember Dewey Wright, my first true love, and the Valentine card he gave me in kindergarten, and how he chased me around the playground until I caught him …

I remember moving from that little white house at the end of Fig Lane to a house out in the country right next door to my Dad’s mom…

I remember the day my cousin, Billy, came to live with us – and how upset he was – and how upset I was when he tore our doll house apart and scattered our toys…

I remember dashing past a gobbling turkey who chased me to my grandma’s back door after school…

I remember my father’s tears when his mother died…

I remember moving out to that God-forsaken place twenty miles from nowhere to begin life anew, with Dad going into business with Uncle Igino and Uncle Melio …

I remember the smell of the Pacific Tallow Works that was about 150 yards from our house, and how impossible it was to close up the house tight enough …

I remember Tiofila and Engracia and Dalia, my sweet little Spanish-speaking playmates, whose mom made fantastic tortillas, and the day they were transported back to Mexico by some cruel authorities…

I remember crying for days when I heard Dalia had died on that trip back to Mexico …

I remember Manuel Ynzunza, his basketball skill, and our first kiss out behind the cafeteria … oh, the thrill of it…

I remember “Dimples,” my Cocker Spaniel who had four puppies – and the fascination of observing the births …

Photo by A.Revolution on Pexels.com

I remember riding a horse, unable to control it, and being pushed into a barbed wire fence, putting a gash in my right leg …

I remember how impossible it was for Mom to leave the office unattended to take me to the doctor (she was Dad’s secretary-bookkeeper), so she taped my gash closed and how it healed leaving a big scar …

I remember the day my Aunt Jean, Billy’s mom, came to take him back … how I was filled with mixed emotions, sorrow and relief …

I remember my mom’s older sister, Aunt Evelyn, coming from Washington to visit and bringing clothes my cousins had outgrown, and Mom spending nights altering them to fit Sally & me …

I remember walking at least a mile (seemed like five) to catch the school bus and riding for at least an hour (seemed like five) while we picked up other kids to go to Crows Landing Elementary School…

I remember Mrs Yetter, my third grade teacher, who was almost bald…

I remember my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Ethel Horwedle, and how she wrote her cursive E, and how she let me sing to the tunes of the square dance records, and let me teach the class new square dance moves…

I remember Mrs. Marlow, the principal’s wife who was my 7th and 8th grade teacher… how she let me go during spelling class to help the kindergarten teacher (because, “You don’t need the spelling lesson,” she’d say after giving me a pre-test on which I always got 100%) …

I remember wearing an “I Like Ike” button and learning in 8th grade about each of his cabinet members as they were one-by-one appointed…

I remember Howard Thorkelson, our class genius, who got polio when we were in 8th grade and was gone a long time… returning in a neck and back brace for our graduation…

I remember learning to play the clarinet and doing so well that the band leader invited me to play with the high school band…

Sally & me with our clarinets

I remember being too small to fit into a high school band uniform, and having suspenders that pulled the pants up under my armpits…

I remember playing an accordion duet with Evelyn at our 8th grade graduation, but don’t remember Evelyn’s last name …

This was my first accordion. It’s over 100 years old!

I don’t remember a lot of things, but I remember feeling cared for, and feeling like I could become whatever I set my mind to, and not realizing we were poor…

We actually weren’t you know. We had each other. We had love. We had everything.

I remember…

I Remember by Annika Perry


It’s three o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep, so I am up reading and commenting on some of the blogs I follow. One of them is Annika Perry’s Writing Blog. The picture above is linked to a delightful collection of random memories beautifully written. Treat yourself by clicking on the link below.

I guarantee it won’t put you to sleep, but will prompt you to create a list of “I Remember” vignettes of your own.

Originally posted on Smorgasbord Blog Magazine: Welcome to the current series of Posts from Your Archives in 2020 and if you would like to participate with two of your posts from 2019, you will find all the details in this post: New series of Posts from Your Archives 2020 This is the first post by …

Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives 2020 – #Memories – I Remember by Annika Perry — Annika Perry’s Writing Blog

Increased LOVE, like FAITH, takes EFFORT


Loving Takes Effort

I wrote this post back in February of 2012 as a new blogger. I decided today would be a good day to revive and update it, because it is as pertinent today (maybe even more pertinent) as it was eight years ago!

monk in front of children near brown concrete building
Photo by Suraphat Nuea-on on Pexels.com

Work at Loving!

Like you, I want to be more kind, more loving, more at peace. In giving, we receive. Kindness is reciprocal. Peace of mind is a gift to those who live in the fullness of LOVE. But, in a world full of hate and devisiveness, illnesses like depression and the current Corona Virus, we have to work at loving and finding peace!

Photo by Marius Venter on Pexels.com

Very few of us have the privilege of finding a spot like this one where we can sit quietly at the top of a peaceful place and just breathe the clear air slowly.

Where can we find peace in the midst of our bustling real world?

Work to Find Time to Know Him

I schedule TIME each morning to be with the Holy Spirit. In my quiet meditation time that morning back in 2012, I stumbled upon 2Peter 1:2-7. The question that starts that scripture caught my heart. “Do you want more and more of God’s kindness and peace?”

I was reading the Living Bible, paraphrased – a large print copy that used to belong to my father-in-law. Gratefully, I inherited it when he passed on to his eternal home. This passage was underlined. Grandpa Beekman had double-underlined the next sentence, “Then learn to know Him better and better.”

Meditation and Study Time

My sanctuary time each morning is all aboutgetting to know Him better, and listening for His still small voice. As I study God’s Word, and get to know Him better, there are many benefits. The rest of this passage spells them out – and I easily connected the idea of “increased faith” with the reality of “increased love.” But there is a long pathway that leads to increased love (which equates to more of God’s kindness and peace). It takes plain old good, hard work!

2Peter 1:3
“For as you know Him better,
He will give you, through His great power,
everything you need for living a truly good life:
He even shares His own glory
and His own goodness with us!”

Photo by Wendy van Zyl on Pexels.com

Study to Know His Goodness and His Promises

I have added the capitals to “His.” The Bible doesn’t capitalize it. For me, the word requires a capital case letter when the him/his is not just any old him or his, but the One HIM, our Lord and Savior, God. So, when I share in His glory and goodness, it is special indeed! The scripture doesn’t stop there, though.

2Peter 1, Verse 4-
“And by that same mighty power,
He has given us all the other
rich and wonderful blessings He promised;
for instance, the promise to save us
from the lust and rottenness all around us,
and to give us His own character.”


Wow! What a promise!! How can I attain such blessings? Some would say it is totally by His grace. I don’t have to DO anything. Just because I BELIEVE I am His “chosen,” I will receive all these blessings. Well, not according to 2Peter 1: 5-7. Read on!

Work at Increased Faith

“BUT, to obtain these gifts, you need more than faith; you must also work hard to be good, and even that is not enough. For then you must learn to know God better and discover what He wants you to do.”

(That’s always a trick to discern what He wants me to do!)

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

With Patience, Put Aside Your Own Desires

“Next, learn to put aside your own desires
so that you will become patient and godly,
gladly letting God have His way with you.”

I am reminded of my oldest grandson, Mikey.
He’s now 28, but when he was barely able
to pull himself up by his mother’s apron strings
and stand knee-high next to her,
he would tug on that apron
as she warmed his bottle in hot water on the stove.
Sure he was starving to death,
he would cry,
“Paaaay-shuns! Paaaay-shuns!”

(Ah yes, we long for paaay-shuns
even as we are barely able to verbalize a sentence!)

“Are you ready to go out and play in the snow with me?” Xander asked.

Walk the Path to Grow in the Capacity to Love

“This will make possible the next step,
which is for you to enjoy other people
and to like them,
and finally you will grow
to love them deeply.”

Grow to love.
Grow in faith.
Work at it.

Take the path that has “exercise stops” along the way.

  • Exercise your goodness first – the goodness Christ has given you.
  • Then stop to exercise wisdom – the knowledge we gain as we study God’s Word and practice being more and more like Christ.
  • Next, exercise selflessness and self-control, the fruits that the Holy Spirit has planted in you.
  • Practice patience and gentleness.
  • Your next stop on the exercise trail is labeled “Gratitude.” It is there that you learn to be grateful for the gifts you have been given while you focus on the gifts in others.

Put On Your Jesus Glasses

When you put on your Jesus glasses, you see the goodness, compassion, and faithfulness of others as God sees them. When you put on your Jesus glasses and appreciate all that is unique and wonderful about others, you see them as God’s creations. You have exercised enough now to love them.

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

Love Takes Effort!

Love is a gift worth working for. Thank God, He has freely loved us long before we knew how to love Him back. But now we do! We are getting to know God better and better. Praise the Lord!

The Bottom Line

Yes, the bottom line is the key:

Love One Another.

red love balloon
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

What will you do today to demonstrate your love for others?
Tell me about it!

Thanks for visiting JanBeek.
Do tell me about your loving plans.
See ya tomorrow.

Keep Hands & Heart Open


Photo by Kehn Hermano on Pexels.com

Irresistible
A hand open to receive
Go and fill it up

Keep your hands open
Empty them on occasion
Can’t fill a full hand!

Photo by Alexander Mils on Pexels.com

The same thing rings true
Of our full and hardened heart
Be open and soft

A closed and hardened heart can’t be filled with the love God has in store for us. Keep your heart open. Wear it on your sleeve. It’s OK!!

Photo by Natalie on Pexels.com

When your heart is open,
you are able to hear the Holy Spirit guiding you.


Proverbs 19:21
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Make plans, but keep them in an open hand,
ready for God to snatch them away
and replace them with His better plan.

Keep an open heart
and open hands.
Let God fill you up today.

See ya later!

Encouragement


Hebrews 4:13 “… encourage one another.”

One of the devotionals I read each morning as I sit in my rocker up in my beautiful sanctuary is “In Touch” by Charles Stanley.

The word that’s cut off at the bottom of that cover photo is “dependent.”

Yes, I am blessed to be dependent! I am dependent on God for my very existence. I am dependent on His scripture, the Bible, for my daily bread! I am dependent on others for my companionship and the fulfillment of my daily mission: to follow the leading of Christ.

Love One Another!
Hebrews 4:13
“…encourage one another.”
Live in your purpose
And keep an open, loving heart.
❤️

What will you do to encourage someone else today? Pray about it and follow where God leads you with a receptive and obedient heart.

Thanks for visiting JanBeek.
I’m off to help a friend get to Bozeman for her cataract surgery.

See ya later.

The Place to Be


The place to be on a snowy day

Is not out in the freezing cold

It’s snug and warm in our Senior Center

Where the food is great and we join the fold

Of senior folks who come to eat

And chat with friends they see

Monday through Friday without fail

It’s an inviting place to be.

This week’s menu
Waiting for the crowd
Biding time with a crossword puzzle
Early birds here to visit
Tune in to those conversations- you’ll keep up with all the community news!
Karen & Briana are busy creating their delicious lunch for today.
They treat themselves to coffee, tea, water, or lemonade…
Or as server, I deliver it.
Sometimes whole groups reserve a table and meals for their lunch meeting. This was the ROMEOs = Retired Old Men Eating Out!
Mary is the volunteer at the reception desk today. She collects their $5. Best deal in town!!
The Center is used for a variety of purposes. One of them is described on this poster that greets our diners.
All our workers are volunteers except for Brianna who is the main chef, menu planner, shopper, etc.

The hands above belong to today’s volunteer dishwasher. He is eating his meal early so he’s available to do his job when the dishes and pots n pans start pouring in.

But no meal’s complete without dessert, right?
And no chocolate pie is complete without whipped cream!
Never fear… if chocolate’s not your thing, we have coconut cream!
Your friendly waitress will BEE happy 🐝 to take your order.

So, that’s what I did this morning. What did you do

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