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Archive for the ‘Life and Death’ Category

Remembering Mona

This week my dear friend, Mona Durham, age 96,
died peacefully with her family gathered round.

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Mona’s family and the leadership team of our church
decorated the sanctuary and fellowship hall beautifully
for her memorial service today.

Her ashes, in a container under the purple cloth,
were sent into the hands of God
as Jesus and St. Peter must surely
have welcomed her into heaven.
She was a True Believer.

The floral arrangements were spectacular.

There was a beautiful display of photos
depicting Mona with many of her beloved family.
She had four children and seven grandchildren.
Four of the grandkids shared stories about how her life
impacted theirs in such loving, meaningful, lasting ways.

I took notes (as is my habit) as I listened to their stories.
Here are my notes:



Mona Durham’s was a 96 year life well lived.
She lived heartily loving and laughing;
Tough, fair, sarcastic, always available,
Humble, reliable, stable, and always hospitable.

Mona wasn’t delicate or sheltered.
The last of three daughters, she was the son…
The son her dad never had! How he loved her!
Oh how she loved him, others, and this Madison Valley!

She was a woman of grit and grace, loyal and hardworking.
Volunteered with church, History museum, blood draws,
Elections, Women’s Club & Cattle Women’s Association.
Her later years were less busy, but never less purposeful.

She gave her life to quietly helping others.
Her strength, honesty, love, and strong values
Were the glue that held the family together.
Also the fact that she always had fresh cookies!

Mona’s strength was grounded and rooted.
Her faith was deep, honest and clear.
She carried struggles quietly with endurance.
Her life will endure in each of us who loved her.

Following the service, there was a time of fellowship with beautiful trays of meats and cheeses (prepared by Deemo’s in Ennis).

Deemo’s also prepared this beautiful, tasty tray of veggies.

The family extended a special thank you to the caregivers at Home Park and Madison Valley Manor for the dignity, kindness, and care they showed Ramona in her final years. In lieu of flowers, they asked that donations be made to Madison Valley Historical Museum (where Mona was a faithful, treasured volunteer) or Bear Creek Schoolhouse (where she attended 1st to 4th grade and then later volunteered to help with fundraisers to maintain it – and organized pinochle parties every March). She loved playing cards, doing 500 – 1000 piece puzzles, and keeping in touch always with her family and friends. She will be sorely missed by us all!

Mona’s smile was infectious!

Mona’s granddaughter, Tori,
summed up what most of her family
would agree was an important take-away:


“I see so clearly that her impact
isn’t simple or singular, it’s generational.
What she has given us goes far beyond memories,
she’s given us a way of living.”

“She never once told me how to live,
but she sure as hell has shown me!”


Your shared love inspires us
to pass it on.
Thank you, Mona.

Love,
JanBeek

Which Path Do You Choose?

If you have followed my blog for awhile, you know that I used to share my sermon notes after church every Sunday. I still take sermon notes every Sunday, but not always in poetry now, and not always shared. I just got outta the habit. But, today’s sermon begs to be shared. It’s Palm Sunday… the start of Holy Week for us Christians. It’s a time to share our faith. That’s one of Jesus’ commandments! So here’s what I heard our interim minister, Brian Conklin, say today:

Jesus rode a donkey on a path of pain,
Not a magnificent steed’s ride of triumph.
The crowd expected a powerful leader –
Not a man who would die a horrific death!

Was Jesus alone in His heartbreak?
Was He alone asking, “Take this cup?”
Was He alone saying, “Not My will…
But Your Will be done?”

Jesus died a “flop” in the eyes
Of His followers. They misunderstood.
They didn’t believe the message:
“I’ll die, but in three days I will live again.”

Obedience, care, compassion, humility –
These were the Lordship of Jesus.
Peace… and a willingness to suffer…
These were His expressions of Power.

The Way of Jesus wasn’t domination.
Not then – not now – So tell me,
Which parade are you following?
Which path do you choose?

Complacency, complicity, cruelty, pride?
Love, humility, obedience, compassion?
I choose the latter path – but the road is painful!
Really? The Via Dolorosa… the way of suffering?

What path do you choose?

Back at home, I decided to do a little research.
That path of suffering is sometimes known as Via Crucis
(Latin for “Way of the Cross”).
It is a processional route in the Old City of Jerusalem.
It represents the path Jesus took, forced by Roman soldiers
On His way to His crucifixion. It’s the winding route
from the former Antonia Fortress to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.
It is a celebrated place of Christian pilgrimage.
The current route has been established since the 18th century.
It is marked today by 14 Stations of the Cross.
Nine of them are outside, in the streets, with the remaining five
being currently inside the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

AI generated this image of Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem.
My “Path of suffering” doesn’t look like that. It’s not paved.
It is much more like that first one: dark, barren, windey, foreboding.
Jesus didn’t promise us a bed of roses. During this Holy Week,
We are asked to travel with Him as He is arrested, tried, scorned,
rejected by His very followers, denied by Peter three times, and
Ultimately put to death. That’s the path. It’s not a pretty one.
But, don’t stop there! If Jesus had done so, He’d be a forgotten martyr!

Walk on with confidence! Remember where your chosen path leads!
Amen?

Love, JanBeek

Memorial Day

God bless all those who sacrificed their lives that we might live in freedom. I never take that for granted. Have a blessed Memorial Day🥰, my fellow Americans.

Love,

JanBeek

How D’ya Wanna Die?

We’re all gonna die someday.
How d’ya wanna die?

When you’re in your mid-80’s
and both your parents
died before their 90th birthdays,
it’s natural to think about your own death.

It’s the winter season of my life.
Family and friends are leaving
this earth before me.
Many are a decade or more younger than I.

Yesterday I received a message from a friend.
Her husband has been battling lung cancer
I’ve been praying for him and his wife daily.
He developed pneumonia recently.

Along with his other health issues,
lung cancer and interstitial lung disease,
she wrote, “That wasn’t a good mix!”
Sadly, he passed away.

But soon the “sadly” changed to “gratitude.”
She continued, telling me, “… alert, no pain,
and telling stories right up to the end.”
What a wonderful blessing that was!


No, this isn’t him, but I can imagine the scene.
“All of us were with him,” she wrote.
“He said he was ready to meet Jesus.
His faith was unbelievably strong.

He let everybody know he was joyfully checking out.”
My friend played Merle Haggard’s song on her cell phone:
Sing Me Back Home, and put the phone by his ear.
He smiled, closed his eyes, “So long ’til we meet on the other side.”

How d’ya wanna die?
I’ve decided my friend’s scenario
is the one I want when I leave this earth.
How about you?

Luke 23:43 

And he said to him,
“Truly, I say to you,
today you will be with me in paradise.”


I want to hear those words, too.
But not too soon, okay?

Love,
JanBeek

So Sad

I am sooooo saddened by
the news of the helicopter/jet collision
and the enormous loss of precious lives!

Yes, you might expect
something like that in war zones,
but right here in our USA…
near Washington DC?
As everyone is saying,
“It should never have happened!”

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One of the victims was a mother
of a one and a three year old.
Imagine those children and their dad :o(
Two of the victims were champion ice skaters
(one from USA and one from Russia)
traveling back home from a training session…
their moms were with them.
Their trainers/coaches were with them.
Imagine our grieving Ice Skaters’ World-wide!
So sad!

President Trump
(in a news interview this morning)
said the names of the 64 victims
will be released shortly.
I want to pray specifically
for each soul… and for their
families and loved ones.
So tragic!

I pray something like this never happens again.

With Sincere Condolences,
JanBeek

A Tribute to Dad

When my dad retired, we threw a big party for him.
I wrote a poem in tribute to him and read it at the gathering.
He lived a difficult decade after that retirement with
one health issue after another slowing him down.
But, his hearty hugs and sweet nature
were always alive and well…
and remembered with
love and gratitude.

Here’s that retirement poem.
It tells you a lot about my
hard-working,
loveable
dad.

A Tribute to Dad on His Retirement

Tonight we’ve come together
To celebrate the start
Of the Third Phase in my dad’s life.
In the Second, most of you played a part.

The First Phase was in Newman
Where Salvador came-a fraum-a.
His childhood was filled with girls,
Five sisters and his mawm-a.

“My Salvador can-a marry anybod;
So all you girls look out-a!”
He picked and chose an outta-state blond.
“No Catholic? No Italian?” they shout-a.

They bought a house in Newman.
Dad delivered milk and bread.
But then he went to Frank’s garage
And worked on cars instead.

My sister, “Saleen”, came along,
And then before you knew it,
“Gaetano” was expected next,
But “Janet” came and blew it!

So, what-a you think? My Salvador
Izza back where first he start-a…
Heeza surrounded by girls-a, a wife and kids.
Mama Mia! Life, sheeza hard-a!!

To make things worse, the war began.
Mom worked at the Bomb Plant
And Dad got into this Plant here.
Now life took a new slant.

The Second Phase had just begun:
Joe, Leo, Melio, and Gene
Had pooled resources with Dad
To sweep the valley clean.

The Tallow Works was something new.
They chose the name Pacific.
We moved out to a barren field
And a smell that was less than terrific.

Our home said, “Office;” the phone rang
From early morn ’til night.
Business boomed while Dad drove truck.
He treated the farmers right.

I used to go with Dad in summer
To Stockton’s butcher shops.
We had a blast together then.
With me, Dad was always tops!

The plant-a, she grew-a; the family, too.
We needed a change. You believed us.
So we moved to Turlock, into a new home.
And Merle came and relieved us.

Through all the years Dad drove the truck,
The wheel and road were part of him.
And then Pacific sold to Petersen.
Don’t you think that was smart of him?

Now he could reap the Union checks,
And get a feel for the other side.
He left the headaches, but kept the friends
And the route; so he’d have to ride.

But now the ride will go new routes.
The Third Phase has begun.
Dad’s ready for a well-earned rest,
‘Cuz his Second Phase was WELL DONE!

Do you think he can rest? Has he learned how?
I’ve never seen Dad sit and shirk.
I’ve never seen Dad happy doing not a thing.
I’ve always seen Dad at his work.

Of course there were times when he had to slow down:
God tapped on his shoulder and said,
“Here’s a wrist break, intestines, something one wrong.
Now rest for a while in your bed!”

The message came through that thick head of his,
And he slept for a moment or few.
But (praise be to God) he enjoyed Bocci Ball
And had time for a play day or two.

So Phase Three will have to be free
To play at some things old and new.
Free to learn how to just come and sit
And simply admire the view.

He’ll still need his friends (you folks sitting here),
And he’ll still work and get behind the wheel,
But he’ll have time to do and go where he wants,
He and Mom … in their new automobile.

I hope that you here will join me now:
Stand! Let’s toast to my Dad; he’s our friend:
“May retirement bring health, laughter and joy,
May you live to a-hundred and ten!”

God Bless You, Dad!
Thanks for being YOU!

Rest in Peace
Salvador DeAngeles
May 14, 1911 – April 8, 1995

Happy Father’s Day!
Have a Lovely Sunday…
And I hope you remember your daddy
with love and kindness and fond memories.
If he is still with you, treasure his hugs…
and give him an extra hug from me.

Love,
JanBeek






Laundry Room Acrostics

What do you do
while the clothes
are fluffing in the dryer
and you are waiting
before taking them out
to fold them?

Do you have paper and pens,
color crayons and chalk
sitting on your table
where you’re waiting
to fold clothes?

I do.

I love to write Acrostics
while waiting in the laundry room
for the clothes to fluff
so I can fold them wrinkle free.

Here are a few of mine.
You can guess the topic
knowing these were created
within the last four months.

ANTICIPATING OWEN
2/14/24

O ur
W onderful
E specially
N ew

P resent
U plifting us:
P up!!

Screenshot

POOPY OWEN
3/18/24

P lease
O bey,
O wen!
P oop
Y our shit
O utside
W hen
E ver
N ecessary!

Please, Lord, help us figure out
how to train this puppy to go
outside – and to come when called!

OWEN LEO: HE’S LEARNING!
4/20/24

O odles of fun
W hen he behaves
E ven when he forgets, he
N ever ceases to bring joy!

L et us be patient and
E ncourage his good behavior.
O wen is such a love!

FUTURE PLANS
6/7/24

F irst
U p:
T rouble erupted
U nder our noses
R eally sad
E vent happened
P up Owen died
L anding outside the window
A ttached to his leash
N oose around his neck
S uffocated, hung himself.

Where do we go from here?
How do we keep living in this
empty, vacuous house
without Owen?
He filled all the empty spaces
in our home and hearts.
We are devastated.
Can’t think future plans right now.

DON’T GET STUCK
6/14/24

D isasters
O ccur
N ightmares
T raumatize
G oodness
E nters
T hrough
S ensitive
T rusting
U nderstanding
C aring
K indred Spirits

We have been so blessed this week
to have the love and hugs,
flowers and cards, calls and caring
of so many of our family & friends.
They have encouraged us to
grieve, of course, but
“Don’t get stuck.”
In Owen’s sweet memory
Move On… Laugh again,
Love again, Rejoice again,
Snuggle again with
Another Boston Terrier.

We’re not quite ready yet…
But God is helping us heal.
Thank you, God’s angels.
We love you!

Bob & JanBeek



Writing is Therapeutic

When your heart’s breaking
Writing is therapeutic
Pour tears through your pen

Photo by Natalie B on Pexels.com

Through your broken heart
You may not have a plan
But it helps to vent

Photo by Allie Feeley on Pexels.com

A friend brought flowers
Weeping hearts to match my own
Hugs and prayers to heal

Another friend brought
A loving white weeping heart
To soothe my sad soul

He planted the hearts
In the ground near our front door
Owen’s reminder

Screenshot

Owen brought great joy
His death was a tragic thing
I am still in shock

Jumped through the window
While attached to a choke leash
Owen hung himself

I need that comfort
Wish He had been with Owen
Maybe He was there

Before Owen died
He had a wonderful day
Tumbling with Zeke

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Do you have a pet?
If so, cherish him or her
I am sure you do.

Thank you for reading
My heartfelt but sad ramblings
Writing brings relief

With the help of friends
We are smiling through our pain
God bless you, my friends

Love,
JanBeek
(and Bob)

A Day From Hell

Have you ever experienced a day from hell?
We just had one.
We are devastated.
Our sweet, adorable, beloved Owen,
our 10 month old Boston Terrier,
died yesterday.
It was a tragic, bizarre accident.
He jumped out of the car window
while connected to a leash
and hung himself.
I can’t go into any more detail –
I can’t stop crying.
I can’t stop blaming myself.
With all the best of intentions,
with love for Owen as the motivation,
we left him in a situation
that we never in a million years
anticipated would turn out so horribly.
If you don’t hear from me for awhile,
you will understand why.
I am so so so sorry!!!!!
My heart is broken in a million pieces.

He filled all the empty places in our heart and home…
he was such a sweetheart…
learning and growing…
and now he is gone.
A day from hell…

I can’t stop blaming myself.
We were gone less than 5 minutes.
We never should have left him…
Woulda, shoulda, coulda…
Heaven help us!

kid hiding on pillows
I wanna hide
and never come out!

Devastated…
JanBeek

Silent Saturday

In silent awe,

JanBeek ❤️