Loving One Another

Archive for the ‘children’ Category

Positive Language


Positive Language

Recently I saw this posted on FaceBook:

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One FB reader responded to this post by writing, “Hmmm. Sometimes no words are needed. If in public hold child sideways around their middle (so feet and arms can’t wack you) and calmly walk out and go home. Child quickly learns after this is done several times that this behavior means going home without the fun or the goodies. (Best advice a pediatric doctor gave me). Even if it means leaving a cart full of groceries in the store.”

Another reader said it applies to toddlers and the elderly!

I said I think some of these may apply to us ALL!

Ask Me Any Day

  • How may I help you?
  • Are you okay?
  • Why are you feeling sad (angry – hurt – upset – etc.)?
  • Can you tell me what happened?
  • Do you need a hug?

photo of boy hugging his mom

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Always!!

We’re never too young or too old to be treated with compassion. I ALWAYS need a hug!!

The ROCKITMAMA.COM post suggested this positive language might “tame a temper tantrum.”

I suggest it might avoid one, too. And – regardless of the age –  it might help avoid hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and callous attitudes.

I will try always to use positive language in the face of agitation.

How about you?

Have a Wonderful Wednesday!

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See ya tomorrow.

 

This is The Day


This is the day

That the Lord has made

I will rejoice

And be glad in it!

I pray you have reasons to rejoice, too.

Tell me one reason!

Thanks for visiting

See you tomorrow

Newness: Reverse Cinquain


abandoned abstract ancient art

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

Endings

Endings are our new beginnings

Every day offers both

Share gratitude

Newness

baby sleeping in a basket and a round feather surrounding the basket

My granddaughter, Hope,
and her husband, Drew,
are expecting their baby girl any day now.

Knowing this is the week
we will lay my friend, Carol, to rest,
and this is the week our grandson,
Chris, is ending his 6 month stay in the USA,
it is fitting that a new beginning
is imminent.

God bless this new life
about to join us!

Hope preg2

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See you tomorrow

 

Reverse Cinquain summary:
• 5-line stanza inspired by the haiku and tanka
• syllabic count: 2-8-6-4-2
• meter optional
• rhyme optional
• titled, where the title is used as a sixth line
• may be centered or left-justified

Gift from the Heart


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The best kind of gift
Is the unexpected one
The gift from the heart

 

The Givers

It was Mother’s Day weekend. I went into Bozeman, our nearest city, to do a little shopping, get my nails done, and run a few errands.

After dear Jayson finished my manicure, while I was sitting there letting my nails dry, he and his adorable wife, Hannah (who is a pedicure expert), went into the back room. They came out wearing great big grins and carrying a gorgeous orchid plant and card.

“Happy Mother’s Day,” they said, as they handed the card and plant to me.

What a sweet, unexpected gift! The orchid sits on my kitchen counter… a daily reminder of these two lovely people.

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Another time a “Gift from the Heart” was received totally unexpected was when my former kindergarten student – from 1962 – came to visit us.  Ty (he was so adorable, I named my son – born in 1965, after him) came to Montana from California with his wife, Roxanne. Can you imagine the joy that brought us?

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I can’t think of a gift more precious than a visit from a former student! The gift of your presence, your time… So heartfelt!

Have you revisited a teacher who impacted your life? You should try it. Believe me, it is indescribably wonderful!!

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Have you been given a gift from the heart? One that was totally unexpected?

Or have you given one to somebody “just because”??

Tell me about it!

See you tomorrow.

 

Understanding and Umbrellas


Understanding
was the first “U” word

that popped into my mind
when searching for
the quality we ALL need
to
add more meaning
and
find greater purpose
in life.

 

man and woman holding hands on brown wooden table

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

 

Understanding and Wisdom go Hand in Hand

What are the common roots of the two words?

I turned to scripture to find the answer to that question. This is a copy of my Bible page. As you can see, it is well marked! Look at how many times Proverbs 2 uses “wisdom” and “understanding.”

Understanding + Wisdom = Compassion

The Book of Proverbs teaches us, if we understand what is right and good, we will see what is just and fair. As a result, it will naturally follow that when we see injustice, when we witness someone being treated unfairly, we will have a heart of compassion, determined to respond.

Compassion is an Umbrella

OnahDave on HumePoets.com posted a poem today titled Drenched:

“Wrecked and broken by pain,
she drenched in the unlimited
down pour of her sorrow.”

When I read his poem, my immediate response was, “Give her your umbrella!”
When we understand another person’s pain, our compassion compels us to reach out with an umbrella of protection.

grayscale image of woman walking through the rain while holding umbrella

Photo by Kaique Rocha on Pexels.com

Umbrellas Take Many Forms

Sometimes the umbrella is a song! Today I visited my friend, Carol, who (at the advanced age of 95) is struggling to hang on to life. Her son and two daughters were in the hospital room with her.

Carol was having a better day today than when I saw her yesterday. Her children could tell because she was being a bit cantankerous!

Hah! She reminded me of my mom during her last days. Her mind rallied to the point that she knew what she wanted and what she didn’t. Her ability to say, “No!” rallied – – – and she exerted her independence while bed-bound and hooked up to oxygen. Like my mom, Carol is a strong and courageous woman.

Her daughters and I sang some cheery songs to her and enjoyed her smiles and nods – and her ability to squeeze my hand in appreciation. Her son snapped a few pictures. These are moments to remember!

Disney’s Sing-A-Long Songs – Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah VHS

was our first song. You know, you can’t help but smile when you sing that song! It sent an umbrella of joy over the entire room!

Then we sang Frank Sinatra’s “Dream Your Troubles Away.” Do you know that one? You can change “Dreams” to “Prayers” … and sing “Pray Your Troubles Away.” That thought fits the hand-in-hand analogy of understanding and wisdom as described in the second chapter of Proverbs. Here are the song’s revised words:

When skies are cloudy and gray,
They’re only gray for a day,
So wrap your troubles in prayer
And pray your troubles away.

Until that sunshine peeps through,
There’s only one thing to do:
Just wrap your troubles in prayer
And pray your troubles away.

Your castles may tumble
That’s fate after all,
Life’s really funny that way.

No need to grumble,
Smile as they fall,
Weren’t you queen for a day?

Just remember that sunshine
Always follows the rain.
So wrap your troubles in prayer
And pray your troubles away!

 

Sometimes, We Gotta Let the Rain Fall

Max Lucado has written a book titled, Unshakable Hope.
In a message promoting his book, he wrote,

“I’ve discovered that nothing lifts the weary soul like the promises of God. This book contains some of my favorite [promises]. Picture God’s words falling like rain from heaven on you. Imagine these promises as gentle spring showers. Receive them. Allow them to land on you, to soak you. I’m trusting that God’s words will prosper in your life.”

Understand God is in the Storms of Life

Rick Hamlin in today’s Guideposts prayed,
“God, don’t let my cynical heart
prevent me from seeing
You in unexpected places.”

Sometimes our vision is blurred by the storms that smack us in the face. The unexpected difficulties can put us in dark places where vision is limited. We wonder, “God, where are You?”

Even Jesus had such moments. “My God, my God, why hast Thou Forsaken me?” From the cross, He cried to His Father. It’s understandable that we sometimes have similar thoughts.

Sometimes we need to set aside the umbrella, lift our eyes to the sky, and dance in the rain – in spite of the trauma.

Wrap your troubles in prayer – and pray your troubles away –
or not!
Sometimes the clouds are meant to stay – more than a day –
But sunshine follows the rain.
Even if that sunshine is our promise of Life Eternal.

Relish the Beauty of God’s Promises.

scenic view of mountains during dawn

Photo by Simon Matzinger on Pexels.com

Try to understand!
And be ready to put away your umbrella
or pass it along  –
use it to protect and encourage a friend.

Keep a song alive in your heart!

God bless you.

See you tomorrow.

Trap Time in a Tale


Welcome back to the A-Z series
devoted to ideas for
Adding Meaning
and
Finding Greater Purpose
in Life

Today’s Letter is “T”

Trap Time in a Tale

 

woman reading a book

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Trap Time in a Tale

It’s not a tall tale! It’s not a fish tale or a fairy tale.
It’s YOUR tale!

In These Days, Daily Devotions for Living by Faith, today’s devotional said,

“Sometimes in order to thrive,
we need stories more than we need food!”

I thought about calling this blog post “Thrive by Telling Tales,” because I think it’s true: some days we DO need stories more than food!

Some days I thrive on writing (and coffee), do you relate? Writing gives my life meaning and purpose.

I CAN Trap Time in a Tale.

You can, too. You probably do – every time you sit down to write!

Do your tales help add meaning and purpose to your life?

people coffee meeting team

Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

I decided against,”Thrive by Telling Tales,”
when I thought of the Jim Croce song,
Time in a Bottle.” Do you know it?

“If I could save time in a bottle,
The first thing that I’d like to do,
Is to save every day
’til eternity passes away
To spend them with you.”

We may not be able to save time in a bottle, but we can Trap Time in a Tale!

The devotional I referred to in These Days is titled, Remembering Your Story. The author, Jan McGilliard wrote, “Stories can greatly expand our understanding of God, others, and ourselves… No matter your age or stage in life, remembering your own story is sacred work.”

Memoir or Autobiographical Tales

Each of us has a story to tell. It is sacred work! When we write our own stories, sometimes they are called autobiographies. They are focused on us, as the writer, the tale teller. Sometimes they are called Memoirs. What’s the difference?

LifeRich Publishing on the web says,

“The fine line between memoir and autobiography is a fuzzy one, especially in this modern literary era where writers are constantly blurring the boundaries between genres to create a new, exciting one. Like an autobiography, a memoir is a narrative that reveals experiences within the author’s lifetime. But there are obvious and practical differences between the two genres.

In essence, an autobiography is a chronological telling of one’s experience, which should include phases such as childhood and adolescence, adulthood, etc., while a memoir provides a much more specific timeline and a much more intimate relationship between the writer’s own memories, feelings, and emotions.”

Among other distinctions, LifeRich Publishing pointed out
Memoirs are:

  • less formal
  • more concerned with emotional truth toward a particular section of one’s life and how it makes one feel now
  • less obsessed with actual events

while Autobiography is essentially:

  • written by the main character (or at least drafted with a collaborative writer)
  • made up of detailed chronology, events, places, movements, reactions, and any other relevant information that inhabited the life of the subject
  • focused on facts – fact, above all, is its foundation

Memoir Writing

Gore Vidal gave his own distiction when he wrote his memoir, Palimpsest.

He said, “…a memoir is how one remembers one’s own life, while an autobiography is a history, requiring research, dates, facts, double-checking.”

I have written a memoir. It’s titled, “All My Marbles.” It is definitely less formal. It is concerned with emotional truth from my emotional perspective. It reflects how I feel now about my life’s people, events, and places – as well as how I feel about myself. It does capture Time in a Tale.

I don’t know if I will publish it in my lifetime or not. I finished it about three years ago. There are chapters about my grandparents and Bob’s. About my parents and his. About our marriage and children. And (to focus on its essential purpose) there is a chapter about and for each of my seven grandchildren. I want them to understand their Grammy better – – – know where I came from – – – and see how I responded/felt about each of them when they were born and as they grew into and through their teen years. They are now 23 to 28 years of age. Two have children of their own. One is about to have a second child, and one is about to get married.

Time in a bottle? No, time rushes on. But I trapped a period of it in my tale! It sings to me.

beach bottle cold daylight

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

“All My Marbles” sits here in my computer.
I have it saved to the cloud
in case my computer crashes.

All My Marbles

Because I love my JanBeek readers, and I respect your opinions and enjoy reading your posts, I want to share the foreword, the introduction to “All My Marbles” with you. Tell me what you think.

I’ll be 80 this July. My prayer is that for another decade (at least) I can keep all my marbles in place, and working. But, if not… I have Trapped Time in this Tale.

Here is the Introduction to “All My Marbles”

I want you to know that I am a rather strong-willed, sometimes too outspoken, retired career woman who intends to live to be ninety-plus with all my marbles in place. Right up to the last, I want to smell good and wear dangling earrings that match my outfit for the day. I hope my children will get the message that there’s no need to get twitter-pated about getting older. As long as you keep your eyes on the NOW, your sense of humor tuned, and allow your style to be uniquely YOU, it’s likely that (unlike my cantankerous mother), you will wear your shirt right-side-out and still “give a shit” at 89!

My mother was a real spitfire! I knew she was not long for this world when she headed out one afternoon to a doctor’s appointment with her blouse inside out. When I brought it to her attention, she barked, “Oh, who gives a shit?” See, that’s where that quote originated, and sure enough, it was one of her last appointments before she departed our company.

Mom wasn’t always so contrary. Back in the early sixties, I got my first job in the states as a result of my hometown superintendent’s interview with my mom. I was in Germany teaching first graders on an army base. He liked what Mom said about me, so he agreed to hire me sight unseen. Before school started, I returned to California and popped in to visit the superintendent.

“Why do you want to work?” he asked. “Why don’t you just stay home and take care of your husband and start your family?”

Even though it was not illegal in 1962 to make that rash assumption and ask such questions, I realized his inquiry was sexist and inappropriate.

“Why should I choose when I am able to do both?” I answered his question with a question of my own.

More than five decades later, I still am averse to making either/or choices. My two children assure me they never felt neglected even though they had a working mother. I loved them, scolded them, laughed with them, played with them, read to them, and spanked them when they needed it. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I believe that! I did the SuperMom/MasterWife stuff while volunteering at Sunday School, teaching primary children, getting my master’s degree, earning an administrative credential, being a principal at a year-round school, and supervising student teachers at the college level.  Why do only one thing when you can do six? I was part of the generation of women who knocked loudly at the glass ceiling.

Now, in my senior years, I know it’s important to keep my mind active. “No day is complete,” my mother-in-law always said, “unless you have learned something new.”

On this bumpy road of life, I am learning something new every day. Certainly it is not a smooth ride on a gravy train. You need to keep a sharp eye on the muck ahead, remember to glimpse lovingly at those around you, and listen for that still small Voice to guide you. Life is a constant learning adventure.  All your marbles must be shined and put in place to survive and thrive. The bottom line is love. If it’s not unconditional, all hell breaks loose.

Let me introduce you to my family members and share some of my favorite life lessons with you.

 

So, my blogging friends, what do you think?
Does the introduction invite you to the memoir
in a way that would cause others to be interested?
Or should I just self-publish ten copies
(one for each of my children,
one for myself,
and one for each grandchild)

… and call it a day?

See you tomorrow.

You Deserve It!


You Deserve It!
Go for it!!
You’re #1!!!

Welcome back to the A-Z series
devoted to ideas for
Adding Meaning
and
Finding Greater Purpose
in Life

Today’s letter is “T”

I could have chosen

  • tenderness
  • trust
  • truth

or any one of several words that represent the important qualities we need to exhibit and value in our lives in order to add meaning and fulfill our purpose more fully,
but I didn’t choose one of those.

It’s not a word that centers on “You Deserve it!”
It is not “You’re #!”
It is about being “right-minded.”

Today, Mother’s Day, I have chosen a word in honor of my dear mother-in-law, Laura Belle Beekman. It was her favorite word. She once wrote an essay on the topic for “The Daughter of the American Revolution.” The word is an old-fashioned one:

TEMPERANCE

It means constraint or discretion,
moderation or prudence,
self-control or sacrifice,
self-deprivation,

tee-totaling!

 

My husband, Bob, said his grandmother was a faithful member of the Christian  Temperance Union. So, no wonder his mom identified so much with the word! But, as you see above, the word has many meanings above that of non-alcohol consumption.

Temperance in Parenting

At yesterday’s birthday party, our sweet little Victoria had a melt-down. If you read my post yesterday, titled Happy Birthday x2, you met Victoria. I told you she was a little girl of many moods. One of them is depicted here in this video. Her mom stood nearby, wisely watching, but not responding to this temper-tantrum!

Meantime, inside the house two moms are busy teaching their 2 year olds to eat properly. Another toddler (Oh my! That’s my great-grandson, the birthday boy!) is independently making a mess, throwing as much food on the floor as he puts in his mouth! It was a busy day, my friends. You can get a minute’s glimpse of it – and our patio & dining room here:

 

Living with Temperance

The concordance tells us that temperance is a virtue – “a cardinal virtue” synonymous with faith, hope, and charity! It is to “be good.” It is to “do no evil.” It is to “keep the right path, and walk the right path.” Follow the straight and narrow. Fight the good fight.

road street sign way

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

Teaching Children Temperance

How do we teach our children Temperance? There is not just ONE WAY, of course. But, on this Mother’s Day, it is good to remind ourselves that there are some “cardinal virtues” worth teaching … and the ONLY way our children will learn them from us is by example!

We must be the ones who “walk the talk.” We must be willing to stand by and watch the temper tantrums – and not give in! We must be the examples of following the straight and narrow! Our children will most likely not do as we say for a life-time, but they may do as we do. And we want that “doing” to be PRUDENT, right?

family of four walking at the street

Photo by Emma Bauso on Pexels.com

 

Leading The Way

Take children by the hand – by the heart – and lead them on the virtuous, good, and moral way.

Add meaning to your life as you make meaning in the lives of others. Add meaning to the lives of your children, grand-children, great-grandchildren, neighbors, friends. Demonstrate every day the faith, hope, and charity you hope to see in this world. That is our PURPOSE in life!!

Only by example can we make the world a better place.

Go out and JUST DO IT!

Happy Mother’s Day

See you tomorrow!

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