Loving One Another

Posts tagged ‘respect’

When I first told my family…


We were having one of my favorite meals, spaghetti with meat sauce, when I first told my family that I had broken up with my fiance’. My dad nearly choked on his mouthful. My mom shoved her plate of spaghetti half-way across the table!

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

To this day, I can’t eat spaghetti with meat sauce without remembering that day.

My fiance’ and I had been engaged for about a year. He was in the army, stationed in Germany. I was a senior in college, missing the social life, trying to remain true to my engagement. I wanted to attend the school’s dances and other social functions. It was hard!

Rather than being untrue to my boyfriend who was so far away (we had not seen each other in six months), I broke off with him. Obviously, my parents were devastated. Especially when they learned the guy I wanted to date was a divorce’.

“Why buy a used car when you can have a new one?” my dad finally spoke. Then he got up and walked out of the room. (Yes, Dad was a man of few words, but a list of prejudices a mile long!)

Mom followed him, without speaking a word. That was so unlike her.

Proverbs 6: 20-23

20 My son, obey your father’s commands,and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. 21 Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. 23 For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life.

The man I broke up with was from a family very much like my own. He grew up in the same area I did. We shared common roots. My parent and his got along wonderfully. The man I wanted to date was nine years older than I. I won’t get into why he was so attractive to me, but suffice to say, my parents’ dismay touched me deeply.

They let me have my “fling.” They did not bad-mouth my new friend. But when my ex-boyfriend came home on leave, they invited him over. When I returned home from college that weekend, he was there. I realized how much I loved him. That love has carried us through 58 years of marriage. Not always perfect, not always blissful, but always respectful, and always knitted together in prayer, faith in God, and common purpose. The love has grown as years passed – and I am grateful every day for my parents’ wisdom.

Put a plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of me. I can taste the kindness of my parents in every meatball. I can hear my mom’s silence and feel her prayers in every slurp of pasta. I feel my dad’s concern about age differences and divorce. I keep their love in my heart with every Italian meal! God bless ’em!!

Today at d’Verse we are trying a new form of poetry. Synesthesia is a neurological phenomenon in which stimulation of one sense leads to automatic, involuntary experiences of a second one.   There are over 80 types of synesthesia described by science.   Nearly every combination of sensory experiences or cognitive concepts is possible.

Seeing music as colors is one form of synesthesia. Perceiving letters as personalities is another one, or seeing numbers in color. Even hearing colors or touching smells.

How about tasting memories?
Do you have any of those?

Photo by Ali Nafezarefi on Pexels.com

This post is a combination prompt: 1) My Madison Valley Writers’ Group Prompt was the title of the blog, and 2) the d’Verse prompt informed the style and content. It’s not poetry… but it may qualify as Synesthesia. What do you think?

My Italian Daddy and me

See ya tomorrow.
Thanks for visiting
JanBeek

Feelings Check-in


Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Got too much on your plate?
Take a step back and regroup –
Don’t bite the “Gotta” bait!!

You don’t “Gotta” do nothing
But eat and breathe and live.
Set aside the burdens and
Sort life with a sieve.

Sift out what is draining,
And give yourself compassion.
Let go what’s upsetting
And let yourself start laughin’.

Yup, go find yerself a sandbox
And sit in it with friends.
Share the stuff that troublin’
And watch how the sadness ends.

And when the sandbox play
Comes to an end, get up
And bid the spiders, bees, and ants
Good-bye while you go and fill your cup.

Have a cup of kindness
With some honey to sweeten it.
Chase those blues right out the door.
Tell your stress you’ve beaten it!

When you look at each day smiling,
There is really no denying it,
You can beat the blues and stressfulness.
Go out fearlessly … Bee a Leo: Lion it!!

Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Got too much on your plate?
Set some aside – and get some rest –
There’s always tomorrow; that’s not too late!

Thanks for popping in!

Have a good night!
See ya tomorrow.
Love,
JanBeek

Try Tanaga


‘Tanaga’ is a traditional Filipino poetic form comprising four lines of 7 syllables with an AAAA rhyming sequence. I learned about it today at:

https://jemverse.wordpress.com/2020/09/18/six-poetics-5-tanaga/

I decided to give Tanaga a try. You might enjoy having a go at it, too. Since my JanBeek topic is about Loving One Another, I decided to use love as my Tanaga rhyme.

For my country I have love
It’s not peaceful like a dove
Democracy needs a shove
We need help from God above

I need a yard sign that reads
Love is all the help one needs.
“Unity is Power” Plant seeds.
Turn off all divisive feeds.

Love, unity, and respect
Go farther than you suspect.
Wear them so others detect
The LOVE than others neglect.

Have a Fabulous Friday.
TGIF is my day
To stand for the straight and gay
In UNITY every day!

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Just Love One Another – Say:
“Do it the Tanaga Way!”
Poetry tells you what may
Spill from your dear heart today.

Photo by ATC Comm Photo on Pexels.com

How will you show your love today?
Try it with Tanaga!

Oh, by the way,
I told you Bob’s former student, Peter, was visiting, right?
He left today. Coach Beekman and I
really enjoyed the visit.

Nothing makes a former teacher feel more loved than to be remembered and respected, loved, and visited by a former student. Do you have a favorite teacher you could honor somehow today? Maybe that could be your Tanaga topic!

See ya later.
Love ya, JanBeek

P.S.
Bob lost a cap on one tooth.

It looks strange; that is the truth!
Don’t tell him he looks uncouth.
Ready for Halloween booth!

Approaching Magnificence


What’s magnificent?
A sunrise and a sunset –
And time in between.

Lisa Gline’s sunrise

It’s the time between
That builds our magnificence.
How’re you spending it?

I am a woman
Pleased to be a child of God.
I am empowered.

Empowered to be
Equipped with tools of wisdom –
Ready to use them.

I won’t be silenced.
I will stand up for justice –
Get what I fight for.

Proud to advocate
For fairness and unity
And equality.

I’m watching the team
Ready to lead the U.S.
Back to sanity.

I’ll vote for respect
To return to our White House –
Compassion and love.

I’ll vote for the strength –
The strength of my convictions.
That’s magnificence!

If decency wins,
World respect will return.
That’s magnificent!

I am committed
To fight for our best ideals.
Ready for sunset.

Elaina Colby’s magnificent CA sunset

What’s magnificent?
A sunrise and a sunset –
And time in between.

How are you spending yours?

Bob spent his day on the Madison River…
He threw this beautiful trout back in….
Catch and Release!
Wouldn’t you say he’s approaching magnificence?

Approaching Magnificence!

Have a good night.
Fight for what you believe in!
You, too, are approaching magnificence!

See ya tomorrow.
Love,
JanBeek




We Need Faith


Faith to SEE…

See not just yourself,
but what matters is that we
see the best in others, too!

Faith to FEEL…

Feel their anguish and pain
as well as their joy and gratitude

Faith to DO…

DO reach out in faith
and love to one another!

Faith to LIVE…

Live the peace of God…
sow love!

We Need Faith

Words by John Thornburg


We need a faith so color blind,
So free from time-worn lies,
That when we look from face to face,
We see the eyes of God.

We need an ethic of respect,
An honest pledge of trust,
That when we share the deepest things,
We feel the warmth of God.

We need to act as well as speak,
To see each other’s sweat,
That as we we labor side by side,
We do the work of God.

Come, Christians, look for character,
And not for shade of skin,
That as we rend the walls of race,
We live the peace of God.

In the YouTube video below, hang in there through the introduction to the song, and then let the words, the music, the interaction of the performers, and the joy of the audience and children LIFT YOU UP… “Raise you up to more than you can be!”

With FAITH and God’s help,
we CAN and we will
be part of the healing solution
for this divided world.
We WILL be part of the change
we hope to see in our world.
We PLEDGE to be agents of UNITY!

All you need is LOVE, FAITH, and DETERMINATION to
see the eyes of God,
feel the warmth of God,
do the work of God, and
live the peace of God.

Together, we can be the change we wish to see in the world.
Let’s get to work!

Thanks for joining me.
See ya tomorrow.
Love,
JanBeek



Here’s to the Goodness!


My friend, Doris, who graduated from high school with me back in the Dark Ages, sent me an e-mail today with 48 pictures designed to demonstrate acts of kindness in the midst of this world-wide time of struggle with COVID-19 and racial injustices.

I selected my favorites from the 48 – and want to share them with you here as an encouragement to go out and do likewise. Pick your favorite from these seven that I have chosen. Tell me why it touches your heart.

Each of the seven (selected in random order) were important to me. They demonstrate our need for ONENESS, UNITY, RESPECT, GOODNESS, LOVE, and KINDNESS.

The numbers attached to the pictures were on the website… they are not in any way prioritizing. And that message above was part of the post… “Bored Panda” was the source. Their word “tolerance” is not mine. It seems condescending to me. I prefer “LOVE.” Don’t just tolerate me! Love me… and treat me as I am: your equal! One of God’s children!! Just love me!!

I love YOU!

Can you choose one from those seven? Tell me why it resonated with you.

The YouTube below was also sent to me by that same high school friend, Doris. It’s a wonderful children’s choir singing about the memories that will live on in their lives after this time passes. Click on the arrow, sit back, and enjoy the voices, the melody, and the message.

And don’t forget the message here:
ONENESS,
UNITY,
RESPECT,
GOODNESS,
LOVE,
and KINDNESS.

Bee well, my friends.
I’m so glad I didn’t lose you…
Memories bring back YOU!!


See ya tomorrow.
Hugs, JanBeek

(Oh, leave me a note about your favorite of those seven, will you?)

Love, Unity & Respect


Love Unity Respect

Love and unity –
Respect yourself and others:
Hope for tomorrow.

Unity and love –
Respect others all the time:
Make us whole again!

Jan's screenshot

Are you with me?

7 Qualities of Great Leaders


Coming Election

During this period of time from now to November 2020, we in the USA will be looking carefully for the qualities we seek in a good leader… wanting to elect a great leader … someone worthy of following.

Our Ideas & Biblical Principles

I asked Bob this morning, “If you had to name just seven qualities you think are essential for effective leaders, what would they be?”

His answers didn’t totally match the Biblical principles that prompted this blog title, but some were right on. I was reading 1 Timothy 3:1-3 during my devotional time up in my angel room this morning. This is what it said:

“… If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach… temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.”

An overseer is one who sees over his followers. A supervisor, head, manager, head honcho! And s/he must lead with qualities worthy of emulation.

Photo by alexandre saraiva carniato on Pexels.com

Bob said,

  1. Honesty
  2. Integrity
  3. Intelligence
  4. Experience
  5. Compassion
  6. Interdependence (not someone who thinks s/he can do it all alone)
  7. Respect

The Bible went on to say in 1 Timothy 3:6-7 (The parenthesis are my additions):

“He must not be a recent convert (in other words, s/he needs experience in his/her area of leadership), or he may become conceited… He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace…”

Photo by Sippakorn Yamkasikorn on Pexels.com

If the leader’s reputation is tarnished, it is like handing his/her followers a handful of worms. They just come crawling out…

1 Timothy 3:8-10 says,

“Deacons, likewise, are to be [persons] of respect, sincere… and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.”

Being a deacon is often considered synonymous with being an “elder.” In the Catholic church, it is a position below that of priest. In the protestant church, an elder is part of the ruling or decision-making body. A deacon is a part of a group of leaders elected to reach out in service to the congregation and the community at large. All religions have “deacons” whose job it is to be the hands and feet of God – serving those in need. Deacons are respected leaders whose job it is to serve those who count on them.

Photo by Suraphat Nuea-on on Pexels.com

Your Ideas & Mine

So have you come up with your own list of seven qualities a good leader needs? Will you let those qualities guide your decision when you vote in your next election?

Before you read on, make your own list. What are the seven qualities you deem most important in an effective leader?

These are the ones I gleaned from my study of the third chapter of 1 Timothy:

  1. competent (gained from applicable experience)
  2. wise (wisdom borne of Godly counsel, intelligence and study)
  3. mature (mentally and spiritually solid)
  4. gentle (compassionate & not quarrelsome)
  5. self-controlled (exhibiting peace and unity)
  6. respectable (leading a life worthy of emulation)
  7. generous (always giving his/her best to/for followers)
Photo by Anastasia Zhenina on Pexels.com

May we each live a life
That is worthy of emulation –
A life that is an open book.

One step at a time…

Tell me, what are the qualities
that are on your list for great leaders?
See ya tomorrow.

Have a Super Saturday!
Hugs,
JanBeek

Walk Away


Reblogged with permission from Audrey Kletscher Helbling

“Sometimes you just have to walk away… January 9, 2020

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 12:56 PM
Tags: compassion, empathy, listening, thoughts, understanding

An especially bright spot in the heart of downtown Faribault is the Second Street Garden, a pocket garden with positive messages like this one. Minnesota Prairie Roots edited file photo August 2019.

BY NATURE, I AM a quiet observer. Not introverted. But a watcher, a listener, the person who mostly sits back, especially in a room filled with strong personalities.

But that doesn’t mean I embrace overpowering people, especially those who talk over and at others. That type of self-centered behavior bothers me, bothers being a tempered word choice. Lack of empathy, understanding and compassion hurt personal relationships, communities, countries. I see too many people driven by their goals, their agendas, their misinformed/uninformed assessments of others and of situations. Their “I’m right” and “I don’t care if I’m hurting you” perspectives.

How do you fix that on a personal level? The answer: We usually can’t. I’ve learned that unless someone is willing to engage in civil dialogue, it’s probably a waste of time to even have a discussion. I can only control how I react. And sometimes the best way to react is simply to walk away, to let it go, to extract myself from those who are toxic, who lack empathy and the ability to think beyond themselves.

The Minnesota Nice part of me screams, “That’s not very nice!” But the reality is that we all deserve respect. To be heard and understood and loved. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

THOUGHTS?

© Copyright 2020 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

My thought on this blog is that Audrey is so right! As a culture, we seem (in the USA) to be losing sight of common courtesy. We seem to be forgetting the power of mutual respect. We seem to be going down a rat hole… and it’s not pretty!

So, Audrey’s blog spoke to me. We DO have a choice. We do not have to travel down that ugly hole. We can walk away “from those who are toxic, who lack empathy and the ability to think beyond themselves.”

I posted “Walk with Me” a couple of days ago. It was a physical walk around our beautiful neighborhood here in Rancho Mirage, CA. Yesterday Bob & I walked around the beautiful polo grounds in the La Quinta/Indio area.

El Dorado Polo field
The geese at El Dorado Polo field lake
Geese and ducks are plentiful there.
Last time we were here (a year ago), they were planting a lot more palm trees here.
The trees are beautiful, aren’t they?
The geese walked away when they saw us coming!
But they just sat at the water’s edge. So beautiful!
It was a beautiful day for walking. Temperatures in the low 70’s.
As we headed back to Rancho Mirage, we drove into the gathering clouds,but they didn’t bring rain… just a little wind.

Today, I am walking again… but this time, it is around a desert path in Thousand Palms. I send funny little kisses to you… from Snapchat … with a tooth in the way. Oh my!

Thank you, Audrey, for your thoughtful blog. I am taking it to heart. If there are toxic people out there, intent on spreading hate, I am walking again…

… Not around the neighborhood or the lake or the desert, but walking way from hate and disrespect.

You with me?

See ya later!

Ten Ways to Keep Marriage Alive


Ten Ways to Keep Marriage Alive

 

accessory anniversary band celebration

Bob and I have been married more than 57 years. Our love for one another is more alive today than it ever has been. (I read that statement to him just now and asked if he agreed. Of course, he said, “Of course,” That’s part of the secret, guys! Ya gotta readily agree on things like that!)

How do we do it? How do we keep love alive after all these years? What is a healthy marriage anyway?

Jane Smiley, in her book, At Paradise Gate, wrote the following:

“You know what getting married is? It’s agreeing to take this person who right now is at the top of his form, full of hopes and ideas, feeling good, wildly interested in you because you’re the same way, and sticking by him while he slowly disintegrates. And he does the same for you. You’re his responsibility now, and he is yours. If no one else will take care of him, you will. If everyone else rejects you, he won’t.

What do you think love is? Going to bed all the time? Poo! Don’t be weak. Have some spine! He’s yours and you’re his. He doesn’t beat you or abuse you, and you’ve made the same bargain. Now that you know what it’s like to be married, now that all the gold leaf has sort of worn off, you can make something of it; you can really learn to love each other.”

I love that take on marriage by Jane Smiley. It coincides with my opinion on what it takes to make a marriage work. Here is my list:
Ten Constant Steps toward Being Married Happily Ever After:

  1. Accept and Respect one another’s differences, and celebrate your areas of sameness.
  2. Stick by one another – even as you slowly disintegrate.
  3. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Be forgiving.
  4. Defend one another to a hostile world.
  5. Be strong in your faith; pray and laugh and play together.
  6. Be a diligent partner, doing more than your share without bitterness or resentment or complaint.
  7. Praise one another for the little things.
  8. Never take one another for granted.
  9. Always be trustworthy; don’t stab one another in the back!
  10. Practice the art of compromise – with God as your Constant Guide.

Keep Learning

Yes, when all the gold leaf has sort of worn off and you’re each comfortable in your own space, keep the space open and inviting. Invite one another in. Keep on learning to love one another as long as you both shall live.

You’re in this box together. You’re in it for the long haul. Enjoy the ride!

box cheerful color cute

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

img_8408
Hang tight!!


pexels-photo-704748
See ya later.

 

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