Loving One Another

Posts tagged ‘time’

7 Habits of Effective Lovers


Loving is Connecting.
Blogging is Connecting.

My blog, “Loving One Another” is all about how to love, encourage, and inspire one another. Cristian Mihai of “The Art of Blogging” says we need to be able to express in 6 words or less why we blog and what we blog about.

I answered his query saying,
“I spread love and inspiration daily.”
That’s six words.

I augmented my answer by adding,
“I plan to inspire, inform, entertain, and encourage.”

I find pictures to enhance my messages.
And I am inspired by other bloggers’ messages.
Hopefully we shine on one another.

If we want to shine, to inspire and encourage others, to be unconditional, effective lovers, are there some tips we need to keep in mind?

Yes, I believe there are habits that lovers of people, lovers of animals, lovers of nature and of God, need to develop. I think they include these SEVEN HABITS OF EFFECTIVE LOVERS:

1. Listening with Intent

Effective lovers perk up their ears and really hear the voices, the sounds, the cries and laughter, the heart of everything around them.

2. Seeing non-judgmentally

Effective lovers look for the best in others. They see what they’re looking for. They see the person, animal or object as the Creator intended them/it to be. They imagine perfection, wholeness, beauty. They bring out the love that’s embedded in what they see.

3. Feeling with Compassion & Empathy

Effective lovers feel what others are feeling. They are compassionate and empathetic … not sympathetic. They don’t look at someone or something and say, “Oh, I feel so sorry for you/it.” They try to put themselves in the others’ shoes. They look for solutions. They offer real help. They fertilize the dying bush or bring the parched animal a drink.

4. Reaching Out

Effective lovers extend a helping hand without being asked. Their “feelers” are out looking for ways to help. They have a servant’s heart.

5. Taking Time

A habit effective lovers develop is the act of taking time for others. Whether it is visiting a friend who’s sick, caring for a pet while its owner is away, watering a garden, going to a nursing home, building a birdhouse or helping to complete a project, the effective lover is ever ready.

6. Praying

Knowing your own power is limited, knowing we’re all imperfect mortals who need divine guidance, effective lovers pray for others, pray for world peace, pray for endangered species and help in times of disasters and seemingly insurmountable struggles. Effective lovers reach for help beyond themselves.

We know our own limitations, and we know our own weaknesses. We know we do not always exhibit the kindness, patience and gentleness that effective lovers need. So, we ask for divine guidance and help from the One who strengthens us.

7. Tenacity

Effective lovers have staying power. They are tenacious. They are in it for the long haul. They are not quick to let go. Instead, they continue to love through thick and thin.

Like this beautiful spider web that is covered with snow, but hanging on for dear life as the wind howls outside my sanctuary, this web has a job to do. It will capture any insects that survive the storm … it will provide food for the spider that created it. It hangs on and fulfills its given purpose.

Substitute “children” in the message above
for “friends” or “spouse”
or “pets” or whatever fits for you.
What is your purpose that you are living to fulfill?

Being an Effective Lover involves listening, seeing, feeling, reaching, taking time, praying, and being tenacious… and it’s worth all that effort because you know:

“What you bring into the lives of others comes back into your own.”

Do you agree with these 7 habits or qualities
for “Effective Lovers”?
Do you have others you might add?

Tell me!

God Bless You!

See ya tomorrow

Time in a Ball


This was Russ Towne’s post this morning on FaceBook. I love the poem and the fulfilled promise.

I love the message at its conclusion, advocating what JanBeek is all about: “🎶❤️ All we need is love, ❤️ 🎶” and “Make the world better by the beauty [you] share.”

Russ Towne wrote, “The local chapter of the California Writers Club selected my poem below for inclusion in their publication ‘WritersTalk.’ This poem has had two titles over the years: ‘Broken Promise’ and ‘Their Time in the Ball.’ Which title do you think fits this [poem] better?”

Broken Promise

An unopened bud
A leaf left unfurled
A loss of great beauty
To a beckoning world


Withered by fear
From memories and pain
Won’t risk rejection
Shame and disdain


Unrealized potential
Hidden deep in a ball
They suffer in silence
A broken promise to all


Kindness can open
Closed buds over time
Heal shattered hearts
And ease fearful minds


A bud can be opened
By the love of a friend
Who believes in their dreams
So their spirit can mend


Sometimes it takes
The smallest of sparks
A word to encourage
Those alone in the dark


Nurturing love
Can go a long way
To help beautiful petals
Feel the light of each day


Bask in the glory
Of knowing they dared
Make the world better
By the beauty they shared


Often late bloomers
Are most lovely of all
As their beauty is deeper
From their time in the ball


–Russ Towne

Thanks, Russ, for your shared poetic talent!

Which title do you think fits it best?

Trap Time in a Tale


Welcome back to the A-Z series
devoted to ideas for
Adding Meaning
and
Finding Greater Purpose
in Life

Today’s Letter is “T”

Trap Time in a Tale

 

woman reading a book

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Trap Time in a Tale

It’s not a tall tale! It’s not a fish tale or a fairy tale.
It’s YOUR tale!

In These Days, Daily Devotions for Living by Faith, today’s devotional said,

“Sometimes in order to thrive,
we need stories more than we need food!”

I thought about calling this blog post “Thrive by Telling Tales,” because I think it’s true: some days we DO need stories more than food!

Some days I thrive on writing (and coffee), do you relate? Writing gives my life meaning and purpose.

I CAN Trap Time in a Tale.

You can, too. You probably do – every time you sit down to write!

Do your tales help add meaning and purpose to your life?

people coffee meeting team

Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

I decided against,”Thrive by Telling Tales,”
when I thought of the Jim Croce song,
Time in a Bottle.” Do you know it?

“If I could save time in a bottle,
The first thing that I’d like to do,
Is to save every day
’til eternity passes away
To spend them with you.”

We may not be able to save time in a bottle, but we can Trap Time in a Tale!

The devotional I referred to in These Days is titled, Remembering Your Story. The author, Jan McGilliard wrote, “Stories can greatly expand our understanding of God, others, and ourselves… No matter your age or stage in life, remembering your own story is sacred work.”

Memoir or Autobiographical Tales

Each of us has a story to tell. It is sacred work! When we write our own stories, sometimes they are called autobiographies. They are focused on us, as the writer, the tale teller. Sometimes they are called Memoirs. What’s the difference?

LifeRich Publishing on the web says,

“The fine line between memoir and autobiography is a fuzzy one, especially in this modern literary era where writers are constantly blurring the boundaries between genres to create a new, exciting one. Like an autobiography, a memoir is a narrative that reveals experiences within the author’s lifetime. But there are obvious and practical differences between the two genres.

In essence, an autobiography is a chronological telling of one’s experience, which should include phases such as childhood and adolescence, adulthood, etc., while a memoir provides a much more specific timeline and a much more intimate relationship between the writer’s own memories, feelings, and emotions.”

Among other distinctions, LifeRich Publishing pointed out
Memoirs are:

  • less formal
  • more concerned with emotional truth toward a particular section of one’s life and how it makes one feel now
  • less obsessed with actual events

while Autobiography is essentially:

  • written by the main character (or at least drafted with a collaborative writer)
  • made up of detailed chronology, events, places, movements, reactions, and any other relevant information that inhabited the life of the subject
  • focused on facts – fact, above all, is its foundation

Memoir Writing

Gore Vidal gave his own distiction when he wrote his memoir, Palimpsest.

He said, “…a memoir is how one remembers one’s own life, while an autobiography is a history, requiring research, dates, facts, double-checking.”

I have written a memoir. It’s titled, “All My Marbles.” It is definitely less formal. It is concerned with emotional truth from my emotional perspective. It reflects how I feel now about my life’s people, events, and places – as well as how I feel about myself. It does capture Time in a Tale.

I don’t know if I will publish it in my lifetime or not. I finished it about three years ago. There are chapters about my grandparents and Bob’s. About my parents and his. About our marriage and children. And (to focus on its essential purpose) there is a chapter about and for each of my seven grandchildren. I want them to understand their Grammy better – – – know where I came from – – – and see how I responded/felt about each of them when they were born and as they grew into and through their teen years. They are now 23 to 28 years of age. Two have children of their own. One is about to have a second child, and one is about to get married.

Time in a bottle? No, time rushes on. But I trapped a period of it in my tale! It sings to me.

beach bottle cold daylight

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

“All My Marbles” sits here in my computer.
I have it saved to the cloud
in case my computer crashes.

All My Marbles

Because I love my JanBeek readers, and I respect your opinions and enjoy reading your posts, I want to share the foreword, the introduction to “All My Marbles” with you. Tell me what you think.

I’ll be 80 this July. My prayer is that for another decade (at least) I can keep all my marbles in place, and working. But, if not… I have Trapped Time in this Tale.

Here is the Introduction to “All My Marbles”

I want you to know that I am a rather strong-willed, sometimes too outspoken, retired career woman who intends to live to be ninety-plus with all my marbles in place. Right up to the last, I want to smell good and wear dangling earrings that match my outfit for the day. I hope my children will get the message that there’s no need to get twitter-pated about getting older. As long as you keep your eyes on the NOW, your sense of humor tuned, and allow your style to be uniquely YOU, it’s likely that (unlike my cantankerous mother), you will wear your shirt right-side-out and still “give a shit” at 89!

My mother was a real spitfire! I knew she was not long for this world when she headed out one afternoon to a doctor’s appointment with her blouse inside out. When I brought it to her attention, she barked, “Oh, who gives a shit?” See, that’s where that quote originated, and sure enough, it was one of her last appointments before she departed our company.

Mom wasn’t always so contrary. Back in the early sixties, I got my first job in the states as a result of my hometown superintendent’s interview with my mom. I was in Germany teaching first graders on an army base. He liked what Mom said about me, so he agreed to hire me sight unseen. Before school started, I returned to California and popped in to visit the superintendent.

“Why do you want to work?” he asked. “Why don’t you just stay home and take care of your husband and start your family?”

Even though it was not illegal in 1962 to make that rash assumption and ask such questions, I realized his inquiry was sexist and inappropriate.

“Why should I choose when I am able to do both?” I answered his question with a question of my own.

More than five decades later, I still am averse to making either/or choices. My two children assure me they never felt neglected even though they had a working mother. I loved them, scolded them, laughed with them, played with them, read to them, and spanked them when they needed it. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I believe that! I did the SuperMom/MasterWife stuff while volunteering at Sunday School, teaching primary children, getting my master’s degree, earning an administrative credential, being a principal at a year-round school, and supervising student teachers at the college level.  Why do only one thing when you can do six? I was part of the generation of women who knocked loudly at the glass ceiling.

Now, in my senior years, I know it’s important to keep my mind active. “No day is complete,” my mother-in-law always said, “unless you have learned something new.”

On this bumpy road of life, I am learning something new every day. Certainly it is not a smooth ride on a gravy train. You need to keep a sharp eye on the muck ahead, remember to glimpse lovingly at those around you, and listen for that still small Voice to guide you. Life is a constant learning adventure.  All your marbles must be shined and put in place to survive and thrive. The bottom line is love. If it’s not unconditional, all hell breaks loose.

Let me introduce you to my family members and share some of my favorite life lessons with you.

 

So, my blogging friends, what do you think?
Does the introduction invite you to the memoir
in a way that would cause others to be interested?
Or should I just self-publish ten copies
(one for each of my children,
one for myself,
and one for each grandchild)

… and call it a day?

See you tomorrow.

Few Words Wednesday


IMG_6290

I had all kinds of plans to give my time to a few people today.
I guess God had other ideas.

I was headed out, but my car is stuck in a snowdrift in our driveway. Doesn’t look so bad in the picture, but it won’t go forward or backward… just spins in place.

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_ae63.jpg

TazE seems puzzled, huh?

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_ae62.jpg

Compared to others, this is a small problem.

How did your day go?

Slow Down the Pace


body of water across forest

Photo by Manuela Adler on Pexels.com

Slow down the pace of
This busy and frenetic life
Float on the waters of grace
With time that is free from all strife
.
Practice the art of just ceasing
Give honor and value to time
Ponder the minutes and hours
Value moments to write and to rhyme
.
Writing is not akin to working
It’s not a task, not for me
I rest in sweet Otim Sanctum:
Holy Leisure and divine creativity
.
You can turn up the secular pace of
Negotium: those non-leisure hours
But let sacred rhythm enchant you
And drench you in replenishing showers

beautiful bloom blooming blur

Photo by Torsten Dettlaff on Pexels.com

What Makes You Happy?


What Makes You Happy?

beach blue sky cheerful clouds

Photo by Artem Bali on Pexels.com

I was headed yesterday to visit a friend who lives about an hour away. Stuck in traffic, waiting for a very long, very slow train to pass, I was getting more and more grumbly. I was late for lunch! I decided drumming my fingers on the steering wheel and complaining was doing no good. I should change my mindset – think about what makes me happy instead.

So, I started this mental activity of alphabetically coming up with a list of things that make me happy. I texted a few to my friend (along with an apology and explanation for why I was late) and finished the list just about the time the looooong train finally finished crossing the intersection:

 

What Makes Me Happy?

  • Antelope and Accolades
  • Birthdays and Beaches
  • Christmas and Comfort
  • Dogwoods and Dawn
  • Easter and Enthusiasm
  • Friends and Family
  • Grandkids and Gratitude
  • Hospitality and Hugs
  • Integrity and Inspirations
  • JellyBellies and Justice
  • Kids and Kisses
  • Learning and Laughter
  • Music and Mountains
  • Neighbors and Nourishment
  • Opportunities and Oysters (on the half shell)
  • Puppies and Possibilities
  • Quiet and Quirkiness
  • Relaxation and Roses
  • Scripture and Springtime
  • Thankfulness and Trust
  • Understanding and Unconditional Love
  • Visitors and Vacations
  • Writing and WordPress
  • Xander and Xylophones
  • Yodeling and Yellow
  • Zoos and Zebras

 

So, try it! Next time you’re stuck in traffic, instead of grumbling and strumming, think about what makes you happy. You’ll pass the time with a smile instead of a frown, and the train will fly by!

bridge clouds cloudy dark clouds

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Sleepless


alarm alarm clock analogue antique

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Time has no meaning

When the hour says sleep

But the mind won’t rest

It’s no use counting sheep

 

The sheep just leap

In endless white streams

Over fences and clouds

And steal my dreams

 

I toss and I turn

And finally give in

Time has no meaning

Much to my chagrine

 

So whatever the hour

Be it twelve o’clock or two

Come visit my blog

I’ll be sleepless with you

 

 

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