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Posts tagged ‘inheritance’

Embrace Hugging


My daddy and me
Doin’ what comes naturally

I love that old musical from the 1950’s, Annie Get Your Gun. It is an American musical Technicolor comedy film loosely based on the life of sharpshooter Annie Oakley. The Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer release, with music and lyrics by Irving Berlin and a screenplay by Sidney Sheldon based on the 1946 stage musical of the same name.

Does hugging come naturally to you?
If so, from whom do you think you inherited that quality?
Bob and I had that conversation after breakfast this morning.
His mom and dad were not huggy folks.
Mine were… especially my affectionate daddy.

Me and Daddy
when I was about 14 or 15.

Bob didn’t learn to be huggy from me.
He came that way… and I feel so blessed.
Marrying someone who was stand-offish
Would have been put me to a terrible test!

Doin’ what comes naturally
Isn’t the same for you and me.
I reach out and hug strangers –
At least ’til this pandemic distanced me.

Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com

Bob and I are huggy people
We showed our kids the joy of touch
But not all children are so blessed
Some are abused; some aren’t touched that much.

Photo by nappy on Pexels.com

When our daughter, DeAna’s best friend, Laina,
Lost both her adoptive parents at a young age,
We were blessed to say, “Come be in our family.”
Having a “Daughter #2” was a blessing quite sage!

Our Laina keeps in daily touch. She wrote
A message to me yesterday.
I asked her if I could share it here.
This is what she had to say:

Embrace MomBee🥰

I keep waiting for your blog theme to be “Embrace Hugging” or similar.  Technically embrace does mean to hold someone closely in your arms so it’s almost funny to use the 2 words together. 

Well here’s my mini blog for the day.

We just don’t hug enough anymore.  For one reason, we can’t because of social distancing but also we don’t because we won’t take the time to do something that’s so extremely important.  

My genetic nature resisted hugs growing up. I inherited that from Marilyn my Irish born biological grandmother and apparently her daughter my biological mother was the same way. I was adopted by a very different personality. 

I would feel myself stiffen up and become uncomfortable when someone hugged me. My (adoptive) mom was very loving and caring. She was a hugger and I reflect back on those hugs and feel bad for my involuntary reaction. I would squiggle (squirm+wiggle) away as fast as I possibly could leaving her unfulfilled.  Being a teenager and young adult I was too self-absorbed to notice the sadness on her face or to recognize her need for physical contact. If only I could go back in time and have a “do over”!  I would give her a proper hug. It would be a long squeeze and I wouldn’t let go until SHE squirmed to get free. Knowing her, she wouldn’t ever squirm! we’d still be hugging! Hugs instantly boost OxyContin levels. It’s scientifically proven. Hugs help to heal feelings of loneliness and isolation and anger. An extended hug increases serotonin levels and increases good mood. It strengthens the immune system. So why don’t we do it more? We need to do it more! I guess I can’t tell you to hug a stranger because they might smack you or scream but definitely hug those you love whenever they are near… I can’t wait to give you both long hugs in person. I promise I won’t squirm away.

Laina and “MomBee”

That picture of me with Laina is one of my favorites. I often use it as the “sign off” photo on my blog – edited to just be me. I had forgotten that it was taken on the occasion of my 80th birthday when Laina came to be with us and help us prepare for and carry out a party that included about 50 of our best MT friends. Laina lives in Maryland – and her trip here was such a gift. Helping us was for her, “Doin’ what comes naturally.”

Hugs may not come naturally to all of us.
But it is something we can learn…
and enjoy… and realize
how important that intimacy is.

Our daughter, De, with hubby, Andre’

Yesterday our grandson, DeAna’s youngest son, Chris, went to Vissoie
to have dinner at his parents’ restaurant and to give them a long overdue hug.
It had been over a month since he had made the trip up the mountain to see them.
I wrote to him afterward and said,
Thank you for going to be with your parents
and for giving your mom great big, heart-felt hugs.
We all need them.

DeAna and Chris

This morning he wrote back and said,
“Oh! It was my pleasure!
It’s been too long since I saw them,
I needed to squeeze their booooooones.

Can’t wait to squeeze yours, too!”

(Chrissy got that expression, “Squeeze yer bones!” from his GrampyBob…
It’s one of his favorites.)

Whose bones do you need to squeeze today?
Go do it!
Go and make hugging one of those things that is
“Doin’ what comes naturally!”

Thank you, Laina
for sharing your story with us.
Thank you for enhancing our family.

Thank you, blogging friends,
for visiting JanBeek today.
Hugs to you!
See ya tomorrow.

Spend it All or Give it Away!


“Being of sound mind, I spent it all!”

Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

Those were the words read from the will
when my friend, Marion,
met with her siblings after their mother died.

Today’s devotional in
“Mornings with Jesus 2020”
told of a similar story.
The writer quoted her father as saying,
“Before I leave here, I intend to spend every dollar I ever made.”

She thought he was kidding.
After all, he was a God-fearing man …
“who could quote scripture from Genesis to Revelation.”
(Alice Thompson, Thursday July 9th).

But her earthly father had given her no inheritance!


After being angry for awhile,
Alice turned to her Bible,
and she turned to the Lord.
Alice wrote that she spoke to her head
about Lamentations 3:24.
It says,
“The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

Even though Proverbs 13:22 says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children,” Alice realized her father – who left “nothing for me,” had indeed left the most precious gifts of all: His loving relationship with her and his faith in God.

He lived his life loving her and her mother, giving to the Lord and to those in need, and using his hard-earned dollars to enjoy a good life. A nice house, a new car every few years, memorable vacations, generosity with his children, and gifts to charity… these were the signatures he left. He left her the gifts money can’t buy: love, faith, a good work-ethic, respect, and joy.

If our parents live their lives in love and faith, generosity and joy.
If our parents pass those gifts on to us,
We have the received the most important gifts of all.
They don’t owe us a rich monetary inheritance.

If our parents demonstrate a good work-ethic,
and teach us to do likewise,
If our parents help us learn to read and compute,
pray and serve, and get a good education,
then they have equipped us to do as they might:

Being of sound mind,
I spent it all
or gave it away.

Go and do likewise!
Have a great Thursday.

I’m headed to a Happy 70th Birthday party!
See ya tomorrow.
Live in peace with EVERYBODY, my friends!
Hugs, JanBeek

Mom’s Sunrise


Today is my mom’s birthday. She’d be 104 today. I woke early and was greeted by this gorgeous sunrise peeking over the beautiful Madison Range.

As I zoomed in on it, it became more vibrant.

Orange was my mom’s favorite color. Good morning, Mom! I see you smiling down from heaven. I remember your best days, and set aside the years when Alzheimer’s robbed you of the sparkle, the tenacity, and the wisdom that marked your best days.

Mom & Dad’s wedding picture 1937
Mom & Dad’s 30th Anniversary
Mom wore her Rebekah Lodge badges with honor and dignity.

Always involved in activities, Mom loved the Rebekahs (female branch of the Odd Fellows), and her bridge club, which weekly met in our living room. Even into her 80’s she loved her 20-Ands Club. She represented a lot of “Ands.” She was an impeccable dresser, beautifully groomed. Managed always to stay fit. She was probably the person who invented the “Selfie”!!

I wrote this poem on December 18, 2004 with Mom in mind. I used phrases she spoke in her last weeks on earth. She was big on giving orders – right up to her last days – even telling God when to take her “home.” She died the day after I composed this, on December 19th.

Before I Die

Before I leave this earth
I have a few requests
Listen up, my dears,
Tomorrow there’ll be tests.

Take my diamond necklace
And convert it into cash.
Use it for my funeral,
Then live life within the dash.

It’s too late for me, friends,
To change the things I’ve done;
But you have time to listen
And teach others of God’s Son.

“The Dash” is all the years
Between birth and when you die.
Those in-between years
Are where your stories lie.

Take my gold and silver,
Go out and help the poor.
Make amends for all the years
I lived from store to store.

Take my many angels,
Give them to folks who are
Ill, hurting, or lonely.
Tell them about the star:

The star of Bethlehem that
Was where the angels went
To see the newborn baby –
Our Lord from Heaven sent.

Take my many clothes and find
Folks who are in need.
Take the food that I have stashed.
Go to the hungry. Feed!

Take my shoes and slippers.
Take them all and give
Them to the cold and homeless.
Help them to warmer live.

Take my chairs and tables,
The lamps and bedding, too.
Give them to a Home or Mission.
They’ll help out quite a few.

Then look around your house, friends.
And see the excess treasure.
Take it to the needy.
You’ll be blessed beyond all measure.

Live your life within the dash
In loving generosity.
Before you leave this earth,
Reach out in pure humility.

Take your gold and silver.
Go out and help the poor.
God will bless you richly, and
You will never want for more.

Her diamond necklace DID pay for her funeral!

And we did give most of her angels away – my friend/former student, Lorei, hung them with a note on the doorknobs of the other residents at her care facility where mom lived. Mom had dozens of angels in her collection! And, we gave her clothes and other “stuff” to the people and places that could use them.

However, I have a few of her angels in my “Sanctuary” upstairs. My maiden name is “DeAngeles” (translates to “of angels” – in Italian). Mom lives in me… and today I celebrate her sunrise, her best qualities, and the gifts she instilled in me: self-confidence, unconditional love, tenacity, and a love of poetry.

Happy Birthday, Mom!
I am “Living in the Dash” just as you taught me.

What qualities did your mom instill in you??

Have a blessed Friday, my friends.
See ya later.

He Left Us


He Left Us

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Happy Father’s Day!

I wrote this poem in honor of my dear Dad, Sal DeAngeles, shortly after he  died in April of 1995. I thought this was a good time to pull it out and share it with you, my dear blog readers. I hope you have equally vivid and happy memories of your Father. You can get a pretty good picture of who my daddy was by seeing what he left us… and the things he left behind.

He Left Us

He left us his roses and hydrangeas,
and his garden with zucchini,
but he forgot to take the old wheelbarrow,
and he forgot to take the bocci ball court.
.
He left his mother’s crucifix on my wall,
his watch in the top dresser drawer,
the Balsamic vinegar in the cupboard,
and his love of ravioli and French bread,
but he forgot to take his Gallo Burgundy.
.
He left in each of us his love of family,
his teary-eyed sentimentality, and he left
the aches and pains of his earthly body,
but he forgot to take his spray paint, and
his love of convertibles with the top down.
.
He left the wife he loved so well,
the family and neighbors who miss him so,
and the unconditional love, but he
forgot his collection of nude calendars,
and he forgot to take his twinkle.
I know – I have it!

 

If your dad has left this earth, try writing a poem about what he left and what he forgot to take. Have fun with it!

Happy Sunday.
Happy Father’s Day!

heart of love

See you with my sermon notes after church.
God bless you!

 

 

My Parent’s Fault


I have many faults

But, they’re all my parents’ fault

They’re so visible

My mom was Irish

With some Scots and English, too

Opinions flourished

Dad was Italian

Cried at the drop of a hat

Sentimental Love

So on St. Pat’s Day

I can blame both my parents

For everything wrong

I seldom hold back

My feelings are no secret

Worn on my socks, too!

Yet Another Day


This little 3″ x 5″ book titled,
Yet Another Day
was copyrighted in 1905.

 

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My mother-in-law bought it at a flea market for $1.00
in about 1959. I inherited it from her.
This note is in the inside front cover:

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The title page tells you the book, written by Rev. J.H. Jowett, M.A.,
is intended to be used as a prayer for every day of the year.

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The copyright page gives valuable tips,
as valid today as they were 113 years ago!

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Today is December 22nd.
The prayer for today is one I want to share with you.
(I pray I am not breaking copyright laws by sharing this!)

Pray with me, will you?
(And enjoy the beautiful, lyrical language of 113 years ago.)

“Lord of all life, wilt Thou quicken me in the ministry of Thy life-giving Spirit? May no part of my being remain in deadly insensitivity. May I be alive unto God! May all my powers aspire after Thee, as flowers after the sun.”   AMEN!

 

summer garden yellow petals

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Nut Cracker


When my dear daddy, Sal,

Left behind his earthly pain

He took with him some items

But left behind the main.

He took his smile and chuckle,

His twinkle and his hugs,

But he left behind his calendars

And the fancy cut glass mugs.

He took his constant excuses,

Like “I missed that day in school,”

But he left his love of convertibles

(Our son thinks they’re pretty cool).

He took his love of walnuts

But the nuts he left behind;

They’re his daughters, Jan & Sally,

-And we’ve got his nutcracker, too-

(We knew he wouldn’t mind!)

Happy Father’s Day and Happy Crackin’ to all the nutty dads out there!

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