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Posts tagged ‘loss’

Remember November


Dig deep in your brain
Remember November now
It’s gratitude month


In Novembers past
Remember who you shared with
Then count your blessings

Time has changed a lot
Large gatherings here are gone
I hope they’ll return

Family is so precious!

Family: the people you choose to love

Remember the yummy spread of food?
Photo by Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist on Pexels.com

Remember the days
When decorations were seen
All around the house?

Will we still create
A festive mood this season
Without the big crowd?

Don’t cry for me!
We won’t gather round this table this year
for our Thanksgiving celebration…
but we will be with dear friends –
and our son will be with family
in a lovely California destination.

My heart goes out
to family and friends
who will experience
The Empty Chair
this year.

Several of our friends
Relate to the empty chair
Missing who was there

If you’re only two
And the group is not around
Be grateful for two

Thank the Lord you have
One another and rejoice
Then join friends of choice

Have a Memorable and Blessed November!

God bless You!
Lotsa Love,
JanBeek

God Bless
My “friend of choice!”
I’m so grateful to have him here…
(That was our 60th anniversary photo!)

Bee Comforted


Just as the bees in a hive look out for one another, our WordPress community reaches out and cares for one another. Thank you all for your words of support and comfort during this time of pain and loss. Your words are sweet as honey!

Your comforting words remind me of this scripture:

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Not only did I present my request to God, but I told you, my friends, about our troubles: my fall and subsequent dislocated & broken finger, and our granddaughter’s miscarriage. From the goodness of your hearts, you reached out with words of encouragement. Thank you so much!

My hand is bruised and wrinkly – and the fingers are braced to keep the broken pinky immobile, but this will heal… and the good news is that it was my finger and not my head that took the brunt of the fall. I have an appointment next week with an orthopedic hand specialist. Hopefully no further intervention will be needed.

In the case of Hope and Drew (my granddaughter and her hubby), prayers are appreciated for their family as they move forward. Finding that she had lost the fetus, Hope’s comment was, “Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.” It was early in her pregnancy – and that’s a blessing. I think it is much harder when the baby is more developed, the sex is determined, and the parents are preparing their home and hearts for the new addition. In this case, they had not quite adjusted to the idea of a third child yet. So, we are just thanking God for the blessing of the two they already have… and praying for their well being.

I pray for more time to be with them, too… Children are such a blessing! God is good – especially when He allows us to live long enough to see our children’s children have children. Don’t you agree?

During this week following Holy Week, we still are in awe of the Easter miracle… and our minds are comforted by the resurrection message. We remember that this is the week when Jesus showed Himself to the disciples in the Upper Room. He returned to let Thomas touch His nail scarred hands and his pierced side. (I bet Jesus’ hands hurt more than mine does right now!)

He talked with His followers who were on the Road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35), and was seen by hundreds before His ascension. Jesus’ words are a comfort to us all! Listen to them in song:

Bee Comforted!
Let not your heart be troubled.


In yesterday’s Mornings with Jesus
Dianne Neal Matthews wrote,
“Remember how Christ felt concern
for His disciples’ well-being
and sought to comfort them…
He paid a high price
so I can know supernatural peace
in all circumstances…
His soul was troubled
so mine doesn’t have to be,
regardless of what I face.”

I am thankful it was:

  • my left hand, not my dominant one
  • my finger, not my head that broke
  • early on in Hope’s pregnancy not the last trimester – and she’s OK
  • God’s concern for mankind that sent His Son to earth
  • His sacrifice that assures me of eternal life
  • your words of encouragement that comforted me

Thank you!!

Oh, and this is the day that my youngest granddaughter, Faith, who lives in CA with her husband and a new little girl, Mable, is celebrating her 26th birthday! Happy Birthday, Faith!! That’s another reason to be thankful, right?

Happy Birthday, Faith!!

Have a blessed weekend,
my friends. I send my love.
See ya tomorrow (God willing)
Thanks for visiting JanBeek

Helping Grieving People


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

While perusing FaceBook this evening, I came across this article that I thought was so well written. The author, Nancy Guthrie, said what many of us know, “… for those who’ve recently lost someone they love, the holidays can seem more like something to survive than to enjoy.”

Nancy Guthrie is a guest writer on the FB page, desiringGod.
She goes on to write,

“While those of us who surround grieving people
can’t fix the pain of loss,
we can bring comfort
as we come alongside
those who hurt
with special sensitivity
to what grief is like
during the holidays.
Grieving people wish
we all knew at least five truths,
among others, at Christmas.”

You can click on the link below to see the full article,
learn what those five truths are,
and learn a little more about Nancy Guthrie.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-grieving-people-wish-you-knew-at-christmas?fbclid=IwAR2buan3Tk0KSKt7VSpZt5F2mooNoXdrXSFY1xekAcI2jxvg-svWkBOn3DQ

If you know someone who recently lost a spouse, a child, or a close friend, you may be interested in passing this article along to their loved ones. I found it very helpful.

Photo by Wallace Chuck on Pexels.com

Do not suffer alone.
Do not let your loved ones suffer in silence.
Reach out in love.

Have a beautiful week.

Let me know if you found this FB article
on desiringGod helpful.

See ya tomorrow.

A Love Affair with Bostons


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Do you have a dog who has captured your heart?

TazE is our little Tasmanian Devil with an E for Ears. When she was a puppy in her kennel in Indiana, the folks there named her “Ears” because that part of her anatomy seemed to overpower everything else. All you saw were those enormous appendages sticking up on this wiggly little Boston Terrier. Living in a remote part of Montana, Boston Terrier puppies are nowhere to be found. So, I searched on-line and saw a picture of a batch of five sparkly, bright little pups all lined up in a row. The middle one had ears that stood up like antennae while the two pups on each side of her had the typical floppy puppy ears. It was love at first sight. We needed another Boston. We had just lost our five year old pup to cancer.

Following a long and grueling battle with cancer, Angela joined our Buster and Benjamin in the clover fields of heaven. She left a hole in our family that only another Boston might partially fill. If you’ve ever owned one of these little American ladies (or gentlemen), you’ll understand what I mean.

There is a part of my husband’s personality that only emerges when he has a playful black and white (or brindle and white) terrier to play with. He thinks Bostons are the only dogs that count. He wouldn’t consider another breed! When he was in high school, his girlfriend’s family had one. He remembers the dog always had a ball in his mouth, asking to play catch whenever Bob went to visit. That’s when his love affair with this breed began.

Before TazE, we had owned four Bostons in the 54 years of our marriage.  Each time one of our little angels died, that playful part of Bob died with them.

The first one, Buster, lived 13 years. His face was the kind only a mother could love: one eye surrounded by white hair was constantly bloodshot. The other eye, surrounded by black hair looked off to the side rather than straight ahead. His typical Boston nose, pushed in, looked like he’d been hit head-on by a truck. But, our son, Ty, and daughter, DeAna, loved him as much as Bob and I did. He was the family’s little king – and grew to a husky, muscular, strong little gentleman. He ruled the roost on Yale Drive in San Mateo, California.

At about the age of eight, Buster moved with us from the mild temperatures of the San Francisco Bay area back to our roots in California’s San Joaquin valley. To go for a swim, he didn’t even need the prompting of a tennis ball thrown in the pool. He had his own doggie door, so he’d exit the house into the fenced-in back yard and dive into the pool to cool off during the triple digit summer weather. Whoever was pool-side then endured his splashes because he insisted on coming right near the sunbathers to shake off!

We had a black and white cat to match our Buster. Tootsie and Buster usually played beautifully together, but sometimes Buster would get a bit too frisky or play a tad longer than Tootsie wanted. So she would tell him, “Enough’s enough” in no uncertain terms. Once her claws caught Buster’s blood-shot eye. It wasn’t healed yet when he walked into a rosebush and the eye was damaged further by a thorn. It got infected and wouldn’t heal. The vet finally decided to remove it. Having only one-eye didn’t slow him down, however. Buster and Tootsie were quite a pair! I think she died of a broken heart less than six months after the September morning when he dug under our fence, tried to follow our kids to school, and was hit by a car.

Our second Boston was Benjamin. He was brindle and white, with a lot of brown showing through the places on his torso where Buster had been a pure shiny black. His eyes were marked perfectly with black around each and a “monk’s cap” of white on his forehead. He loved to go with Bob out to our Bee Farm and ride with him on the truck to locations where the hives were placed in fields or orchards to pollinate the crops and gather nectar and pollen. I was teaching full time, Ty and DeAna were preoccupied with their high school activities, and Bob was busy as a beekeeper, so no one took the time to properly train Benjamin. “Come” was not in his vocabulary, nor was “Sit” or “Stay.” In spite of a collar and leash, he would somehow wiggle out of them to jump out the truck window if he saw a jack rabbit or something else he wanted to chase. More than one summer afternoon while Bob was working the hives, Benjamin would manage to free himself to chase something. Usually, he’d come back to where Bob was. Other times, however, he did not return. It seemed like Bob spent half his late afternoons looking for the dog before coming home dog tired. One time he came home without Benjamin. The next day he put up posters and put an ad offering a reward in the local newspaper near the spot where Benjamin had disappeared. He made the hundred mile round trip on the third day to look some more. No luck!

We always have our dogs spayed or neutered and have a chip inserted in case they should ever get lost. Our hope was that Benjamin was still alive and whoever found him would go to a vet who would check that chip. Sure enough, three days later we got a call. A farm family had found Benjamin, brought him to their local vet who read the chip and called us. The vet had seen the ad in the newspaper. The family wanted to keep Benjamin rather than receive the reward. No, we weren’t ready to give our pup away! In retrospect, however, maybe he would have been better off. He needed to be in some wide-open spaces where he could run and chase squirrels and rabbits to his heart’s content. He needed that young family with children who’d tussle with him daily. He met his demise one afternoon when a pack of stray dogs ran through our orchard. They were savvy. He wasn’t. They ran across the busy country highway avoiding the truck traffic. Benjamin didn’t. He was only three years old.

I knew we should not get another dog before I was free to go to Obedience School with the pup. It was unfair to have one if you didn’t have time to train him properly. Bob had said, “No more dogs… I can’t go through this agony of losing them anymore,” but I knew he missed having one as much as I did. Once you’ve had a Boston, life is incomplete without one. So, when summer came and I had three months when I could devote time to proper training, I found Angelo in a newspaper ad. It said there were Boston puppies six weeks old, born on a farm less than twenty miles from us, ready for adoption. I picked the friendliest one. He came bounding over to me, licked my face, and captured my heart.

Angelo had a long and happy life. He lived through many transitions, including our retirement. He died a natural death of old age. After Angelo came Angela, the one who died of cancer. But, like I said, if you have a part of your happiness wrapped up in your relationship with your dog, it won’t be long before you have to find another.

TazE came via U-Ship.com from Indiana. She’s was a wild and crazy, frisky puppy. I was determined to have an Angel. That was what I called her after I bought her on-line, before she arrived here. As soon as I met her, though, I knew she was no angel! She’s a little ball of energy and has a mind of her own. Taz for the Tasmanian Devil… that’s her! At eight years of age, TazE has calmed down some. She stops jumping with excitement about ten minutes after she receives company. Come visit! You’ll see. And she’ll capture your heart, too.

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Learning to Live in Contentment


It’s a New Day

Are you facing trouble? Aren’t we all? We live in a troubled world! Whether the pain is physical or emotional,  it is real. Pain is a part of life, just as loss is an inevitable part of life. How can we live with trouble and still live in contentment? Each morning we wake up to a sunrise. It’s a new day! The sun may be hidden behind clouds of gray, but it is there – and the clouds will eventually move on so that we can enjoy the sunshine. Meantime, what do we do?

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You may have read my recent blog, “Stuck on Stupid.” The picture above is the red barn where our friends walked to try and find help. As they walked the two or more miles down the dirt road to look for help, a storm brewed. The thunder rolled, the lightening flashed, and no one was home at the red barn ranch except a terribly frightened dog. My husband had driven up a one-lane dirt road and got his pick-up stuck in the mud while backing up to make room for an approaching gravel truck to pass. The good news is that we eventually got out with the help of a tow-truck and rescued our friends before they got drenched. The bad news is, we should not have been going up that road to begin with. There was a sign that said, “Road Crew at Work.” That should have been our first clue!

Sometimes our troubles come because we failed to notice or heed the warning signs along the way, and we drove right into the pain – caused by our own … (no, it’s not always stupidity – but sometimes – well, I won’t go there!).

Other times, our pain has nothing to do with our own making. I spoke today to a friend, John, who is recovering from a horrible virus that attacked his muscles. John was a talented handyman. He is having to learn to use his muscles all over again.  “I can’t even drive a nail,” he complained. How can I encourage John to live in contentment?

Another friend is in the process of helping her elderly Aunt Edith move from her home of 30+ years into a retirement apartment across the state to be closer to family. Aunt Edith was a world traveler who had a home filled with precious souvenirs from her many adventures. With no children of her own, this dear widow has no one to whom she feels she can pass along those treasures, so she has sold most of them – and is moving away from 30 years of friends and memories. The sense of loss is enormous. How can I encourage Aunt Edith to live in contentment?

One of the inspirational writers from Guideposts magazine, Sharon Hinch, approached this subject in a book of daily encouragements for your soul, Mornings with Jesus, 2012.  She wrote, “During times of significant losses, as I’ve laid down things that were precious to me, I’ve found comfort in remembering that Jesus understands loss. He set aside the glories of heaven to come to earth… ”

Hinch used one of my favorite scriptures to make her point, Philippians 4:12-13  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content. In any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”

In her Guideposts devotional, Hinch went on to explain, “Contentment sounds like such a deceptively mellow, easygoing word. But some days it takes fierce, stubborn courage to walk in it. For any of us facing painful loss… I pray for God to breathe the courage of gratitude into our hearts and keep nudging our focus back to Him.”

The key to encouraging John and Aunt Edith to live in contentment with their losses is to encourage them to live with gratitude for what they have. Live with hope for the promise of the sun behind the clouds to peek through, and with a focus on the One who understands our pain of loss – and who holds the promise for our futures in the palm of His gracious hand. It is a new day. Praise God!

Now – as far as the key to helping the ones who drive into harm’s way – on their own accord…

Heaven help us all!

Amen?

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