Loving One Another

Posts tagged ‘divorce’

Practicing for Divorce


No, I am not practicing for divorce!
After 58 eventful years of marriage, it’s too late to give up now!!

February 11, 1962

But life is not a bed of roses (or carnations!)
And marriage is not easy!
Nobody promised it would be.

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Sometimes we get mad at one another.
Sometimes we disappoint one another.
Sometimes we don’t understand
where the other one is coming from!

Yes, I make Bob wonder lots of times!

What Families Know

In his devotional today on Bayside Church’s on-line “Refuel,”
Andrew McCourt talked about marriage and relationships.


He titled his message, “What Families Know,” and he said,

“People who aren’t married do married things…
they are lovers practicing for divorce.”

It’s an age-old problem!

Love Without Commitment

For as long as life began – back to the days of Adam and Eve – men and women have found a way to “find each other’s cracks.” And eventually pouring into that crack can burst the container!

Eve found Adam’s crack!
And look what happened…

Andrew McCourt offered some suggestions for how to relate to one another in genuine love that does not seek to “find the crack” – but rather seeks to FILL AND FULFILL.

Andrew said something to this effect,

“What successful married folks know is this:
there is an order to successful relationships.

First, you stand together shoulder to shoulder
(Don’t let kids or anyone else get between you).

Second, you stand or sit together face-to-face
(You look each other in the eye and you communicate).

Third, you do the bellybutton-to-bellybutton thing
(You love each other emotionally and physically).”

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Reverse Order

Andrew said, “When we get that order of things reversed, that’s when we start Practicing for Divorce.”

When did this whole thing of living together first to try it out before getting married come into being?

I have a biased (informed, of course) opinion about that! I think “Three’s Company” is the culprit.

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Living Together Out of Wedlock

I couldn’t find a picture of those three folks (a guy and two gals) who lived together in an apartment in NYC on a TV show back in the 70’s or early 80’s, but it was funny and popular and it made it look like it was okay for unmarried people of the opposite sex to live together. “Three’s Company” was one of my mom’s favorite shows. And she would be considered a prude by today’s standards.

When my niece lived with a guy before marriage in NYC, my mom said it was a great idea because it made her safer in an unsafe city!

See how media can change our idea of right and wrong?

Ah, here: I found a video. It was a darling TV show!

Bayside’s “Refuel” Podcast

If you want to hear Andrew McCourt himself
and his actual words on the subject,
try this link:
bit.ly/devo021020
I have that on my iPhone and it takes me there.

On With My Day

‘Tis time for me to get on with my day. Tomorrow is our actual anniversary… 58 years. It’s not always been a bed of roses, but the key ingredient always has been there:

RESPECT

Yup, that’s the bottom line!
So, whatever your relationship…
whether it’s three’s company,
living with your lover,
or married,
keep that RESPECT alive!

And there are a few other tips
for how to keep from practicing for divorce, too.
I’ll save those for tomorrow.

Thanks for visiting JanBeek
I hope I haven’t offended any of you out there.

See ya later!

The Demise of Problem-Solving


Tidiness of The Half-Hour Sitcom

man in black shirt and gray denim pants sitting on gray padded bench

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The Half-Hour Sitcom

When I was introduced to the half-hour sitcom, I didn’t realize how much it would affect my view of problem-solving. I didn’t realize how much it would affect the world’s view of how to deal with trouble. There was a tidiness about those sitcoms. Usually they started out bright and cheery. Then a problem was introduced. The characters struggled with it. By the end of the half-hour, the issue was resolved and the world was rosy again.

Real Life

In real life, we came to expect those instant solutions. We stopped understanding the need to live through the hurts, the frustrations, the anger for more than a half an hour. More than a day. More than a month. Divorce rates sky-rocketed and continue to do so … except that today’s generation, having watched their parents’ marriages dissolve, is afraid of commitment. They just live together. To heck with marriage!

The Farce and the Force

The tidiness of the half-hour sitcoms was a farce. It did us no favor. Problems come. That’s a given. But they don’t go away in the blink of a TV show. They don’t go away with a magic wand. Or a twitch of “Bewitched” nose. They can not be solved without time, effort, patience, guidance, wisdom, and often forgiveness. They are better resolved with prayer. We need a Higher Force! Let the Holy Spirit in. Ask for help.

Rewards of Joy and Peace

Problem solving is not quick and tidy. It is a messy, time-consuming business! Don’t let the half-hour sitcom mentality deprive you of the joy and peace that comes from tenacity, persistence, forgiveness and the rewards of hangin’ in there!

 

 

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