No, I am not practicing for divorce!
After 58 eventful years of marriage, it’s too late to give up now!!
But life is not a bed of roses (or carnations!)
And marriage is not easy!
Nobody promised it would be.
Sometimes we get mad at one another.
Sometimes we disappoint one another.
Sometimes we don’t understand
where the other one is coming from!
What Families Know
In his devotional today on Bayside Church’s on-line “Refuel,”
Andrew McCourt talked about marriage and relationships.
He titled his message, “What Families Know,” and he said,
“People who aren’t married do married things…
they are lovers practicing for divorce.”
Love Without Commitment
For as long as life began – back to the days of Adam and Eve – men and women have found a way to “find each other’s cracks.” And eventually pouring into that crack can burst the container!
Eve found Adam’s crack!
And look what happened…
Andrew McCourt offered some suggestions for how to relate to one another in genuine love that does not seek to “find the crack” – but rather seeks to FILL AND FULFILL.
Andrew said something to this effect,
“What successful married folks know is this:
there is an order to successful relationships.
First, you stand together shoulder to shoulder
(Don’t let kids or anyone else get between you).
Second, you stand or sit together face-to-face
(You look each other in the eye and you communicate).
Third, you do the bellybutton-to-bellybutton thing
(You love each other emotionally and physically).”
Andrew said, “When we get that order of things reversed, that’s when we start Practicing for Divorce.”
When did this whole thing of living together first to try it out before getting married come into being?
I have a biased (informed, of course) opinion about that! I think “Three’s Company” is the culprit.
Living Together Out of Wedlock
I couldn’t find a picture of those three folks (a guy and two gals) who lived together in an apartment in NYC on a TV show back in the 70’s or early 80’s, but it was funny and popular and it made it look like it was okay for unmarried people of the opposite sex to live together. “Three’s Company” was one of my mom’s favorite shows. And she would be considered a prude by today’s standards.
When my niece lived with a guy before marriage in NYC, my mom said it was a great idea because it made her safer in an unsafe city!
See how media can change our idea of right and wrong?
Ah, here: I found a video. It was a darling TV show!
Bayside’s “Refuel” Podcast
If you want to hear Andrew McCourt himself
and his actual words on the subject,
try this link:
I have that on my iPhone and it takes me there.
On With My Day
‘Tis time for me to get on with my day. Tomorrow is our actual anniversary… 58 years. It’s not always been a bed of roses, but the key ingredient always has been there:
Yup, that’s the bottom line!
So, whatever your relationship…
whether it’s three’s company,
living with your lover,
keep that RESPECT alive!
And there are a few other tips
for how to keep from practicing for divorce, too.
I’ll save those for tomorrow.